The Space Between
by Lucy Hartley
Summary: A tale of two stubborn lost souls who will come to realize all they have to gain and lose in love and war. Now rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**The Space Between**

**Chapter 1**

Leia sighed as she sat at an empty table in the nearly abandoned mess hall on their newest base – the ice planet called Hoth. It was late, and exhausted couldn't even begin to describe how she was feeling. _Then again,_ she sighed, _I can't remember the last time I didn't feel at least a little bit tired._ Yet somehow, sleep just wouldn't come easily; when it did, she was plagued by nightmares that left her heart pounding and tears running down her face.

"Fancy runnin' into you here, Your Worship," Han teased, inviting himself to sit down at her table. He had been watching her from the doorway for a while – he found himself doing a lot of that these days – and the sadness in her expression always caught him off guard. It seemed that only yesterday they had smiled and laughed and celebrated when the Death Star had been destroyed. Soon after, however, the Empire's attacks had forced them to flee Yavin IV for the icy desolation of Hoth. Since then, the princess had been quiet and withdrawn.

She met his eyes, her expression slightly annoyed. "Is there something you wanted, Captain Solo?"

"Not in particular," he answered, pleased that his lack of explanation caused her to sigh in exasperation. It wasn't that he particularly wanted to make her angry; he just took a strange sense of pride that only he could elicit a deviation of manner in the otherwise diplomatic, regal Princess of Alderaan. "Credit for your thoughts," he offered, noting that something was clearly on her mind.

"I'm surprised you have a credit to offer after all you've spent on parts for your precious ship," she quipped, a hint of amusement in her tone as she avoided his invitation to confide in him. There were things she couldn't confess – not even to herself and especially not to the infuriating man in the seat beside her.

"Hey, hey! Watch it, Princess," he said, feigning offense as he held his hands out in front of him. "As I recall, that ship and this pilot helped save your hides not so long ago."

For all the ways Han Solo seemed to know how to get under her skin, Leia realized how little she knew of him. Her life had always been publicized for anyone in the galaxy to see, but he was as mysterious as the systems past the Outer Rim. She knew well, however, that the quickest way to get to him was to insult his ship; it seemed to work although – and she would never admit it – she couldn't help but be a little fond of that unpredictable bucket of bolts called the _Millennium Falcon_. "I suppose so," she conceded, looking down at the untouched food in front of her.

Han realized that she was trying to change the subject, and he let her. At the very least, he had managed to get a hint of something resembling a smile out of her, and that would have to be enough for now. He sat with her in silence instead of pushing the issue further and was rewarded when she suddenly spoke up.

"Another system joined the Alliance today. At this rate, we'll have a real chance," she offered, sounding more hopeful than she had in a while.

He nodded. "Good to hear. We can use all the help we can get."

"'We'?" she echoed in a tone that hardly concealed her surprise. "Does that mean you've decided to stay with us after all?"

Han shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "Jabba's waited this long. What difference'll a little while longer make?"

Her gaze met his again and she gave a smile that made his heart skip a beat. He wondered how she managed to do that – to make him care the way he did despite his desperate struggle not to. He sighed, defeated, as he realized he would do just about anything to get her to look at him that way, even if it meant hanging around with the Alliance on this ice cube of a planet for a while longer.

"It's late," she said abruptly, as though only just realizing it. "I should probably get back to my quarters now. It won't do to fall asleep during tomorrow's meetings."

"I'll walk you," he offered, standing and extending his arm before she had the chance to protest. "Never know what sort of riffraff might be wanderin' around this time of night," he winked, and she rolled her eyes at him but wrapped her arm around his nonetheless.

They walked along in a surprisingly comfortable silence. In spite of the cold, Leia felt her cheeks warm as she allowed herself to think about the closeness between the two of them. She couldn't help but notice the way he always watched her, the way his eyes raked over her body, making her blush. Her early involvement in the Senate and all of the obligations it brought hadn't left her much time for things like dating or romance – or even spending time alone with a man for anything other than discussing business – and the uncertainty of this new perspective both scared and excited her.

"Well, here we are," Han announced, snapping Leia back to the present as they stood in front of her door.

"I'm glad you're staying," she blurted out without thinking. Immediately, she regretted it – especially when she saw the cocky grin on Han's face. "I just mean—" she attempted to recover, but he interrupted.

"Ah, she admits her true feelings," he joked, unable to let her innocent comment go. "I've seen the way you've been lookin' at me these past few months, you know. Probably thinkin' all sorts of obscene things."

"The way I've been… Oh!" she fumed, ripping her arm away from his. "You're… you're _impossible_!" She mentally scolded herself for even entertaining the possibility of anything more than mere tolerance of such a scoundrel as Han Solo, slamming the door before he got another chance to speak.

…

"Hey, Leia. Is everything… all right?" Luke asked when he saw her early the next morning, noting the expression on her face and the way she cleared a path through the hangar, like a wildfire blazing through a forest.

"Have you seen Captain Solo?" she asked, trying her best to keep her composure. The truth was that their last encounter still had her seething and now that she'd had some time to gather her thoughts, there was a thing or two she intended to tell him.

"I saw him earlier this morning before he went out to do periphery checks. He should be back soon, though," he offered, wondering just what had happened between the two of them. He wasn't surprised that Han had done something to upset her, but she was usually over it soon enough. "Would you like me to talk to him about anything?"

She shook her head, touched by the concern in Luke's voice. She had come to feel a fondness for Luke, as though she had known him her entire life, and she was thankful to have some stability in a universe seemingly gone mad. "Just tell him that I'm looking for him."

"No need. I'm right here," Han announced boisterously, although the fiery stare she gave him was enough to wipe the grin off of his face. "What'd I do now?"

The sincerity behind his question took Leia aback. Had his comments from merely hours before already been forgotten? Suddenly, she felt ridiculous for getting so worked up over what had clearly been nothing more than a simple joke to him.

"Wait, you aren't still angry about last night, are you? You've gotta lighten up, Your Highnessness. I was only kidding," he said, only half telling the truth. He had said those things to gauge her response; clearly she didn't think of him the way he thought of her. _Then again_, he chuckled to himself, _no well-brought up princess would think _that_ way at all._

When she didn't answer, it said enough. "Aw, c'mon. No hard feelings. Let me make it up to you with a home-cooked dinner on the _Falcon_," he offered. However, when she eyed him skeptically, he added, "You, me, Luke, and Chewie. What do ya say, kid?"

"Sounds good to me," Luke agreed, more than happy to spend time with the people who had become his makeshift family over the past few months. "You should come, Leia. You could use a night without worrying about the Rebellion and everything else you've got going on."

She groaned quietly, clearly outnumbered. "Well, all right. But Luke and Chewbacca had better be there," she warned, giving Han the sort of look that dared him to defy her. And with that, she hurried along to the briefing that was only moments away from beginning.

"You must've done something pretty awful," Luke laughed as soon as she was out of earshot. "It's been a long time since I've seen her so angry with you."

"Nothin' worse than usual," Han shrugged. "I ran into her late last night in the mess hall, and I didn't want her wandering around alone so late, so I—" he started to explain before Luke stopped him.

"Something's bothering her. I've caught her wandering around in the middle of the night at least twice a week since we got here," he confided worriedly. "Has she said anything to you?"

Han shook his head, chuckling incredulously at the thought that Leia would tell him anything. "If she hasn't told _you_, I guarantee she wouldn't talk to _me_ about it. But now that you mention it, I have noticed that she seems more… tired lately. Worried, too. I hate to see her so upset, you know?"

Luke nodded in agreement, glad to have someone else who seemed to worry about Leia the way he did. Between them, he felt confident that they could get to the bottom of whatever it was that was troubling the princess so deeply.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Oh, get a hold of yourself!" Leia scolded her reflection in the mirror later that evening as she nervously attempted to get ready for dinner on the _Falcon_. She had already tried on four outfits and she hadn't come close to deciding on just what to do with her hair. Han once commented about her wearing it down more often, but she tried very hard not to care what he thought.

"Mistress Leia," she heard Threepio from outside her door, accompanied by Artoo's familiar beeps. "Captain Solo would like to remind you that dinner will be served promptly at seven o'clock. Oh, my! That leaves only fourteen minutes!"

"Thank you, Threepio. I will be out momentarily," she said, exasperated at her own silliness. Finally, she settled on the standard white snowsuit and twisted her hair into one long braid that fell over her right shoulder. "Some princess," she shrugged and hurried down the frigid corridors to join her dinner companions in what she hoped could be, at the very least, a small escape from the reality that weighed down so heavily upon her.

"How kind of you to join us!" Han exclaimed, unusually cheerfully, as she boarded the ship. Chewbacca growled his own greeting – she would have to learn Shyriiwook one of these days – and Luke gave her a friendly smile.

"Dinner smells good," she offered, suddenly glad to have something potentially more edible than what passed for food in the mess hall.

"Have a seat. Chewie, pour the Princess a glass of wine, would ya?" Han instructed, and Leia realized that his friendly demeanor probably had quite a bit to do with the deep purple liquid that the Wookiee was now pouring into a glass for her.

Not wanting to ruin the moment, Leia did as she was told, sitting down next to Luke at the small table. Hesitantly, she sipped the wine but was surprised to find it sweet and warming. "This is nice," she smiled into her glass, leaving Han to wonder if she meant the wine or their evening so far.

"So, kid, you were talkin' 'bout Rogue Squadron?" Han wondered after Leia fell quiet. "How're things developing?"

"Just great. Wedge and I think we're really onto something. Commander Narra's got me in charge of the Rogue Flight unit, and the team's really starting to come together," he explained cheerfully, and it was obvious just how much he had grown up since Han and Chewbacca first met him in Mos Eisley.

Leia listened contentedly as Han, Luke, and Chewbacca went on about flight tactics and battle strategies. Any other day, she would have jumped right into the conversation, but if only for tonight she was determined to pretend that this war didn't exist at all, that it was just another casual evening with friends and no worries. That everything hadn't changed, and that it wasn't all her fault. She sipped the last of her wine, and this time Han refilled her glass.

About ten minutes later, Han placed a plate of an unfamiliar, although delicious-smelling stew before her. Tentatively, she took a bite and was pleased to find that it tasted even better than it smelled. "So, I guess flying isn't the only thing you're good at," she teased.

"I've got a trick or two up my sleeve," Han retorted, to which Chewbacca replied with a playful growl. "Mind your own business, would ya?" he snapped back at his furry companion, causing the Wookiee to howl with laughter.

Leia looked to Han to translate, but he was silent. She turned to Luke, but he just shrugged, and she let the moment pass, albeit with a newfound resolution to learn to communicate with perhaps the only being willing to share some insights into Captain Solo's elusive past.

…

They ate dinner in relative quiet, and she realized that there wasn't enough quiet in her life. For the first time in a very long while, she felt a sense of calm. It was in stark contrast to the bundle of nerves she had been earlier that evening, but she soon concluded that it was, perhaps, all in her head when it came to Captain Solo and his intentions. He had been a perfect gentleman all evening, and she decided that he could be tolerable company when he wanted to be.

Han noticed the subtle change that had come over the princess in the short time since she arrived; she seemed much less tense, and the worry that constantly seemed to cause a furrowed brow was notably absent. He wished things could be different between them – that she could trust him enough to let him know what was really going on. It was unlikely that he would have any sort of solution, but he wished he could take her into his arms nonetheless.

"Hey, Han, weren't you going to teach us how to play Sabacc?" Luke wondered, and Chewie chimed his agreement for a card game.

"Sabacc?" Leia wondered, finding her interest slightly piqued. She had never been allowed to partake in such behavior as gambling before – it was hardly the kind of thing fit for a princess – but things were different now.

"Wanna learn?" he offered, trying to stifle the thoughts of a thousand ways he could turn the game in his favor. "No, I don't cheat!" he grumbled at a remark from his Wookiee friend, who seemed to be getting quite a kick out of irritating him this evening.

She wasn't sure if it was the wine or his smile that was getting to her, but Leia had the sudden impulse to break all the rules that had been set for her so long ago. "All right, flyboy. Deal me in."

After a brief explanation of the rules, which Leia wasn't sure she would have understood even without the two – _or was it three now?_ – glasses of wine, the game began. Han had allowed Luke and Leia to play the first few rounds as a team, although it didn't seem to be helping much, she realized. Luke had been thinking the same thing, as he looked at her and sighed, losing once again to Han.

"I guess it's a good thing I've never had to gamble for a living," she mumbled, annoyed with her inability to get a grasp on the game that was coming so easily to the others. However, she was nothing if not a perfectionist, and she was going to figure it out if it took all night.

"How about you and me team up for a while? C'mon," he said, motioning for her to move next to him. He felt his breath catch in his chest when she brushed against him as she sat, the side of her leg nearly pressed against his. "All right, your Highness, let's show these boys how to play a card game."

Leia grinned, nodding playfully. Han must have sensed that she needed a victory – any kind would do – and she was thankful that he hadn't decided to try her patience this evening. Instead, she leaned in to get a closer look at their hand of cards, not quite sure what it meant but glad when Han gave the glimmer of a smile that meant it was good.

Chewbacca roared in fury once more as Han placed his winning hand down on the table. Leia was fairly certain that she understood him say something about cheating, as it was a common word from him that evening, but she couldn't be quite sure. After another sip of wine, she realized that her surroundings were starting to get a little fuzzy, and her head was spinning a bit.

"Leia, you okay?" Luke asked, having some trouble focusing for himself. It seemed that the wine was really starting to hit them, as neither had ever had more than an occasional drink before.

"Why, Princess, I do believe you're drunk," Han teased, reverting back to his normal behavior. "And I think the kid might be a little sauced himself."

"Captain Solo, I have never been drunk in my life!" she insisted loudly, finding it increasingly more difficult to make her mouth form words. "I've only had…" she paused, trying to count the number of glasses she'd had. When she realized that had absolutely no idea – not to mention that she currently felt as though the _Falcon_ had jumped into hyperdrive – she came to a horrifying conclusion. "Oh, no. I'm drunk."

Laughing at her admission, Han suddenly noticed how young she seemed as she pouted at the fact that he had been right. "Don't worry about it, Majesty. You can just blame me and Chewie for being bad influences," he said, and she seemed to consider the excuse. "Although, drinking _and_ gambling… maybe under all that royal decorum, you've got a bit of a wild streak in you, after all."

She tried to think of something to say back to him, but she found the task next to impossible. Instead, she turned her attention to Luke, who was unsuccessfully trying to stand.

Chewbacca growled softly to Han, who nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, Chewie's right. You better stay here for the night so we can keep an eye on you, kid." He turned to Leia, about to make a similar offer, but she flat-out denied him before he could get a word in. "All right, then. Chewie, you help Luke get to the crew's quarters, and I'll see the Princess to hers." The Wookiee growled what seemed to be a warning to his friend, who snapped, "Don't you know me better than _that_ by now, ya fuzzball?"

Once again, Leia sighed in frustration and her inability to understand his language. "Do you think Chewbacca would teach me Shyriiwook?" she wondered distantly as Han placed a careful arm around her waist, helping her to stand.

"I think he'd like that," he admitted, knowing his friend's fondness for the princess. Chewbacca found her stubbornness and courage admirable, and it probably didn't hurt that she never hesitated to tell Han himself exactly what was on her mind when it came to her opinion of him.

"Good," she nodded, smiling to herself as she rested her head against Han's arm as they walked along. It had been years since she'd felt so protected, certainly not since she was old enough to comprehend the beginnings of a war with the Empire. She felt him hold her just a little tighter, as if to say he understood and was glad to guard her from the demons of the past that haunted her.

…

They arrived at her door for the second time in as many evenings, but Leia realized that she wasn't ready to let go of the comfort of this mysterious, infuriating man just yet. "Would you like to come inside?"

Her offer surprised him completely. He had imagined the scene hundreds of times since meeting her, yet actually experiencing it for himself caught him off guard. Chewbacca's warning echoed through his mind – that the princess wasn't herself right now and she wasn't just some quick romp from the local pub. Of course, he knew those things well, but he also knew himself and wasn't sure he would be able to refrain any request she might make of him.

"Captain?" she asked again, standing in the opened doorway.

For all the time he had spent staring at her, this was the first time he truly saw her. He saw past the beautiful face and the forced smile and the air of confidence into the chocolate brown eyes that had probably seen things he couldn't begin to imagine. She looked up at him with a quiet desperation, and he couldn't have walked away now even if he'd wanted to. "All right, just for a little while," he agreed, following her into her quarters and shutting the door behind him.

Her residence was surprisingly simple, the small room containing just her bed, a desk and chair, a large mirror, and a wardrobe that couldn't have possibly held all the clothes he expected a princess would own. He honestly wasn't quite sure what he had imagined, but it wasn't this. Then again, she was never short on surprises.

"General Rieekan would have you sent directly to Jabba the Hutt if he knew you were here right now," she smirked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Is that so?" he asked, eyebrow raised at her playful threat.

"Mmm," she confirmed as she nodded deliberately. "He and my father were very close, and he's quite protective of me. Let's just say that with your reputation, he wouldn't be pleased at all."

"My 'reputation'?" he questioned, as though he hadn't the slightest idea what she could be referencing. "The only reputation I've heard about is that I'm a damn good pilot."

"Among other things," she mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

She looked surprised when he sat down beside her and demanded, "Now, what's that supposed to mean?" He started to wonder just how much she knew about the past he tried to keep hidden from the world but quickly realized that if she knew very much at all, she would have never invited him inside.

Leia shook her head, embarrassed. "I shouldn't have said that. It was inappropriate."

"Don't worry about it. It's true that I'm not exactly an angel," he admitted, although he decided to spare her the details for now.

"At least you didn't cause the destruction of your home planet," she whispered, and he could hear the threat of tears in her voice. "So, you've had a few sexual escapades. I'm a murderer."

_So that's what's been bothering her all this time_, he realized as his heart fell heavy for the burden she had been carrying. "You don't really believe that, do you? I mean, there was nothing you could do. That bastard Vader is the murderer, Sweetheart, not you," he tried to reassure her, meaning it completely. He couldn't understand how anyone, including herself, could blame her for Alderaan's destruction.

"And yet they're dead all the same," she said, a single tear rolling down her cheek. It seemed that she would never shed enough tears for Alderaan, nor did she believe that she would ever find a way to fill the void of its loss. "I couldn't stop him, and I'll live with that guilt for the rest of my life. I deserve it – to be forced to live with the responsibility of their deaths—but I won't let them have died in vain. If it's the last thing I ever do, I'll see the Empire fall."

As she rested her head on his shoulder, he placed a protective arm around her once again as she started to cry. "I bet you will, Honey," he said gently, until her quiet sobs became the soft, steady breaths of sleep. Carefully, he moved her into a lying position on the bed, unsure of what he should do; her snowsuit couldn't possibly be comfortable enough to sleep in, but it was hardly appropriate for him to do anything about that.

He sighed, wondering if he should find Threepio for advice. Within seconds, he dismissed the idea, fearing that the golden droid's incessant chattering would wake her. Instead, he opted to take matters into his own hands and hope for the best.

First, he decided to remove her boots, as such an action couldn't possibly be misconstrued as anything but a friendly, helpful gesture. After carefully placing them near the wardrobe, as he imagined she might be apt to do, he concluded that the cumbersome vest should also go for comfort's sake. Slowly and meticulously, as not to wake her, he managed to slip her out of the vest and hung it on the back of her desk chair, thankful that the rest of the snowsuit was bulky enough to keep his imagination in check.

He then pulled the blankets up over her, tucking her in as though she was a child. Of course, as she slept, he realized that she did look much younger than her confident manner alluded when she was awake. He knew that she was only nineteen, but somehow he'd had a hard time believing it until now, as he sat on the edge of her bed, watching her as had become his habit.

In an act he would have never dared with her awake, he moved to loosen the taut braid and combed his fingers through her long, silky hair. He smiled to himself as he wondered just how angry she would be if she knew he had invaded her personal space this way, although the touch was one of genuine innocence. That was another thing about this woman that continuously baffled him – a simple brush of her hand against his or merely standing next to her momentarily was enough to send his head spinning.

Deciding that he had stayed as long as possible without looking suspicious, should someone have noticed the two of them, he stood to leave. However, a small warm hand reached out for his, and he turned to find Leia awake.

"Don't go," she pled in a tiny voice that revealed just how fragile she really was, despite the façade she put on for the rest of them to see.

Maybe he couldn't fix everything for her. He couldn't bring back Alderaan and all the people she'd lost, and he couldn't erase whatever had happened to her during her imprisonment at the hands of Darth Vader on the Death Star. But he could grant her simple request and, even if only for a night, keep her safe.

"Okay," he gave in, lying down next to her in the small bed, taking her into his arms as she lay across his chest, her hair spilling like a river over them. "Sweet dreams, Leia," he whispered, placing a light kiss atop her head as she drifted once more to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Hey, guys! I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who have read and reviewed my story so far. This is a work in progress, and I really appreciate the feedback!

~Lucy

…

**Chapter 3**

Leia awoke with a pounding headache so severe that she half expected to find herself in the sick bay surrounded by med droids. However, she soon remembered the previous evening and quietly scolded herself for having so much to drink.

Nonetheless, despite her aching head, she noticed that she didn't feel as exhausted as she usually did upon waking, and she couldn't recall a single nightmare. As she wondered if maybe her evening with friends had done her more good than she'd expected, she stretched her arm across the bed, startled to find the space warm and disheveled.

It was then that she realized she couldn't remember getting back to her quarters last night. As she sat up and looked around, she noticed that her boots and vest were neatly in place – something she didn't usually do even when she was sober. Someone else had been here and had seen her in such a state, she thought embarrassedly. _But who could it have been?_ she wondered frantically.

She flopped facedown onto the bed in a desperate attempt to regain the pieces of the previous evening, only to breathe in the all-too-familiar scent that was distinctly Han Solo. Her stomach flipped as she became even more mortified than before. Had they been alone together? Had he spent the night in her bed? _Well, obviously!_ she reeled, accepting the apparent. The next question then crossed her mind and sent her heart racing: Just what had happened between them?

Meanwhile, Han busied himself by brewing a pot of coffee aboard the _Falcon_. He had spent the entire night watching Leia to be sure she wouldn't wake and find him there unexpectedly, and it left him feeling accomplished but exhausted. Not to mention that he had no doubt Luke would have quite the headache and could use a cup.

[You didn't come back last night], Chewbacca said accusingly as he sat down, his gaze burning holes in the Corellian's back.

"It's not what you're thinking, Chewie. She asked me to stay, so I did. Nothing happened, and I left before she woke up, so she probably won't even know I was there," he shrugged, pouring them each a mug of the steaming liquid.

[It's for the best], the Wookiee said, clearly content with his friend's simple explanation. He had known Han long enough to discern his lies from the truth, and he knew that his comrade had been honest.

"I feel awful," Luke groaned, taking a seat beside Chewbacca. "Next time I think about drinking, don't let me."

Han chuckled, handing Luke a cup of coffee as well. "Here, try this. It won't do much for the headache, but it'll get you through the day."

"Thanks a lot," he said, taking a tentative sip. "Where's Leia? If I'm feeling this awful, I know she's gotta be having a rough morning, too."

Chewbacca looked to Han, waiting to hear just how he was going to explain this one. The smuggler gave his co-pilot a "thanks for nothing, pal" kind of look before speaking. "I brought her back to her quarters about the same time Chewie helped you to bed. I haven't seen her around yet, but she was just about as drunk as you were. Maybe a little more," he grinned; the memory of the princess so free and uninhibited was a nice change of pace.

"You should probably bring her a cup of this stuff. I think it's helping," Luke suggested, no longer feeling as though he had been trampled by an angry bantha.

He shrugged, supposing it was the least he could do after failing to stop her from drinking so much. _A peace offering_, he mused, pouring her a cup. Besides, it was another excuse to see her again, and he wondered if she remembered her admissions or the fact that she'd asked him to stay. He wasn't sure if he preferred her to remember or not.

Leia was already on her way to the _Falcon_ when she nearly collided with Han in the corridor. "Captain Solo!" she said, startled. "I was just on my way to find you."

"Brought you some coffee," he smiled, handing her the still-warm cup. He couldn't tell what she was thinking by the tone of her voice; she didn't sound angry or embarrassed, but she also didn't appear to be particularly cheerful, either.

"I… um, thank you," she managed, not at all anticipating his sudden act of kindness. _Maybe something _did_ happen, _she panicked internally in light of his new attitude, although she appeared calm and collected as she sipped the drink he'd given her. "There's something we need to talk about," she finally told him, unable to deal with the uncertainty any longer.

"All right," he nodded, bracing himself for the verbal lashing he was certain was near.

After looking around to assure that no one was near enough to overhear their conversation, she took a deep breath and wondered, "Exactly what happened last night? Between us, I mean. Everything is a blur. You were in my bed for what I can only assume was a substantial portion of the night, and I…" She hesitated, unable to figure out how to continue. "Did we… well, you know?"

"If we had, you would've remembered," he joked, eliciting a look of mixed relief and annoyance. "What kind of man do you take me for, anyway?"

She shrugged. "A drunk man with a _very_ drunk woman, who was quite possibly out of line and provocative, causing said man to behave like… well, a drunk man."

"From where I was standing, _you_ were the drunk one, Your Royalness. I was charming and on my very best behavior," he teased, noting that her cheeks had started to turn pink. "Well, maybe you were charming, too… for a drunk."

To his surprise, she laughed at his last remark. "Nevertheless, I appreciate your assistance and restraint. If something would have happened… well, I just never wanted it to be under those conditions," Leia admitted, surprised at her newfound trust in the smuggler. She could imagine that he had guessed at her relative inexperience in the realm of intimacy, though she assumed he would find it understandable given her circumstances.

"So, it's something you've thought about, then?" he questioned, knowing fully that his twisting of her words would push her over the edge. He was just glad that they weren't back to square one, although he knew he would have to learn to hold his tongue sooner or later.

"That is _not_ what I meant! And I assure you, Captain, if I was thinking about someone, it certainly wasn't _you_," she fumed before shoving the mug back into his hand and storming away. "Good day!" she called out, disappearing around the corner.

_Real smooth, Solo_, he told himself, running a hand through his unruly hair. He knew he deserved the harsh words after provoking her, but her confession of disinterest stung all the same. Frustrated with his inability to keep the thoughts in his head from escaping his mouth, particularly in the presence of the princess, he slowly made his way back to the ship to spend his day on the never-ending repairs.

…

"You don't look well," General Rieekan told the princess as she met with him later that evening. "Skywalker's also feeling under the weather today. It must be something going around."

He made the suggestion with a straight face, but she wondered just what he knew. It wasn't like him to let anything on this base go on without his knowledge, and their evening aboard the _Falcon_ couldn't have been a secret with the way gossip traveled on Echo Base. She couldn't be sure if anyone had seen Han enter her room the previous evening, and the general's unexpected request for her to meet with him worried her.

"I've been worried about you, Lelila," he said, calling her by her childhood nickname, forgoing any formalities. "I've known you since you were just a little girl, but you haven't changed much. Still a restless little worrier," he chuckled; it seemed like only yesterday that she was little more than a toddler, sitting on her father's lap as she listened attentively to their business meetings. "I've noticed that you've been spending quite a bit of time with Commander Skywalker and Captain Solo."

"Yes," she said simply, afraid to say too much.

He nodded at her acknowledgement. "Your father was one of my dearest friends, Leia, and I know he would want me to have your best interests at heart."

"Carlist, I—" she started to explain, but he stopped her.

"I think your friendship with them will do you some good," he told her, and she stood before him, stunned. "You've been alone too long. I loved Bail as a brother, but I never agreed with the way he involved you so early in the political arena. It was no place for a child."

"It was my choice," she insisted. Perhaps it was her father's attention she craved when she began to feign an interest in Senatorial meetings as a very young child, but his passion for politics and government soon became hers as well.

"I know. But it shouldn't have been your choice to make. You were too young; you should have been left to enjoy your childhood. By the time Bail came to that conclusion for himself, it was too late to change your mind."

Leia had expected a conversation about her father to be difficult, but she found herself smiling. Through the memories of his old friend, it was almost as though Bail was alive and with them again. She also took comfort that she was not the only one to lose everything she once held so dear and that at least he didn't blame her for that loss. "Do you think he would be proud of me, Carlist?"

The general placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "He always was. You were his pride and joy, Lelila. But more than anything, he wanted your happiness. Even in the midst of this war, there is good to be found; I think your father would tell you that if you found it, don't let it pass you by."

She remained with him for just a little longer, the two Alderaanians sharing a moment of silence for all they had lost yet had been so fortunate to know. Then, at the advice of the general, Leia made her way back to the quiet refuge of her residence and attempted to get some rest. Despite the fact that she had spent the day doing inventory that caused her head to ache even more than she'd thought possible, she was as restless as ever.

As she tossed and turned, Leia considered calling for Threepio on the comlink to bring her a mug of hot chocolate. Luke had introduced her to the drink and, although it was a rarity in the galaxy these days, Han had managed to surprise them with a substantial reserve upon return from his most recent supply run. However, it was then that she remembered the stash of hot chocolate was, of course, aboard the _Millennium Falcon_. Knowing Han's disdain for the golden droid, she was hesitant to send him on board alone.

"I'll just go myself," she resolved, not bothering to change out of her nightclothes as she pulled her boots on. She looked in the mirror and discovered that her long hair was as unruly as ever, coming down in long waves over her shoulders. Sighing, she decided against pulling it up into one of her usual ornate braids, unable to justify the time she would waste when it could be better spent hurrying there and back so she could get some sleep. Finally, she wrapped herself in an ankle-length coat that she almost never wore because of its bulk and impracticality, and then set out toward the hangar.

Meanwhile, the Corellian was sitting in the ship's main hold, playing a game of holochess against one of the ship's computers. Chewbacca had gone to bed early in light of the revelry of the previous evening; he had suggested that his friend do the same, but Han had too much on his mind to sleep just yet.

He was deep in concentration when he suddenly felt the presence of another person in the room. Looking up, he was shocked to find the princess standing in the doorway to the main corridor, watching him. He opened his mouth to speak but found himself unable to find the right words to say.

"The door to the boarding ramp was open," she offered, realizing too late that she had effectively barged into his home without so much as requesting entrance.

"Uh, that's all right. Come in, Princess," he offered, standing to allow her to have his seat without the awkwardness that the nearness of sitting together might bring. "Can I get you anything? Is everything okay?" He wondered if he was dreaming.

She smiled, oddly pleased that she seemed to be making him so nervous; it was a pleasant departure from the way their encounters usually went. "I was wondering if you still had any hot chocolate."

"Oh, yeah, I've got lots of it. I know how much you and the kid love the stuff," he nodded. "Let me make you a cup." She agreed, thanking him, and he wondered just what had brought about the sudden craving. Her attention was soon turned to the holochess table, where she proceeded to pick up playing where he had left off, and he was grateful for the opportunity to observe her without being blatantly obvious.

She was bundled up in a long coat that he'd never seen before, but the hint of a nightgown peeked out from below the hem. Her hair was down and uncharacteristically unrestrained, but he found it all the more alluring. He grinned with a hint of pride as he heard her mumble a Corellian curse under her breath as she lost one of her pieces.

"One cup of hot chocolate for Her Majesty," he teasingly bowed as he set down the cup before her.

"Thank you, Captain," she said, sipping the tantalizingly delicious liquid, already feeling much better.

Feeling more at ease about the situation, he dared to have a seat beside her. "Please, call me Han. I think we've known one another long enough to drop the formalities."

"Han," she echoed, trying it out for herself, deciding she liked the way it sounded. "I suppose you can call me Leia. It'll be better than the gems you've come up with lately."

"Well, it's about time. You've let Luke call you Leia since you've known each other," he remarked, pointing out a small fact that had always bothered him just a bit. After all, he had known her just as long as Luke had, yet she seemed to immediately find a comfortable familiarity with the younger man that Han never quite understood.

She shrugged, trying to think of the right way to explain it. "It's different with Luke. He's like a childhood friend that I've known all my life; to Luke, I've never been a princess and all of the inevitable distance that comes between royalty and everyone else – I've always been Leia to him."

"I guess I can buy that," he said, reasoning that maybe her and Luke's similar age probably had a lot to do with it. "And while you're here, I wanted to apologize for what I said this morning. I don't know why I do that."

"No hard feelings. I should learn how to take a joke every now and then," she remarked, trying to keep in mind what the general had told her merely an hour ago. "You know, sometimes I wonder what kind of person I would be if I hadn't grown up in the midst of the Rebellion."

Han studied her while she stared down at her nearly empty mug, trying to imagine her any other way, soon realizing that part of her appeal came from her headstrong attitude and passion for everything that the Alliance stood for. "You wouldn't be you, and I think that would be a damn shame."

His words brought a smile to her face; despite everything, he wouldn't change her given the chance, and that reality was a comfort. "Maybe you're right. Although, I have to admit, I could do without all the nightmares that this war seems to have brought." She'd meant to say it jokingly, but by the look on Han's face, she knew he hadn't taken it that way.

"Nightmares? You seemed to sleep pretty well last night," he recalled, particularly because he was astonished that the princess could look so peaceful.

"It's the strangest thing, but last night was the first time since… well, I can't even remember when, that I haven't had one," she admitted, wondering if it was the alcohol or the man seated next to her that had more to do with it. "When I was a little girl, I had nightmares all the time, too. My father used to sit by my bed all night, holding my hand. When I would wake, his presence was the only thing in the world that could convince me that all was still well. I suppose his loss has affected me more than I care to let myself feel; sometimes I'm afraid that if I let myself think about the reality of everything that's happened, I'll never recover."

Instinctively, Han took her small hand into his own and was grateful that she didn't pull away. "It's okay to feel sometimes, you know. You don't always have to be the pillar of strength. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. And so are Luke and Chewie."

"I appreciate that, Han," she whispered, unable to express just how much. "I should go; it's getting late."

In a move that surprised them both, Han offered, "You could stay." Noting her startled look, he quickly added, "Just so you wouldn't have to be alone in case you have another nightmare. It might help to have someone around. Or I could sit with you in your quarters, if you'd rather that."

"I couldn't ask you to do that," she answered quickly, unsure how to accept such a generous offer.

"You're not asking, I'm offering," he clarified, wondering if she might actually take him up on his proposition. "After everything you've been through, you deserve a little peace, Leia."

She couldn't deny that his offer of another night of restful, nightmare-free sleep was not only tempting, but also crucial. She was starting to have difficulty thinking because she was so exhausted, and that was no way to lead the Alliance. "Would it upset Chewbacca if I stayed?"

Han chuckled. "Not if you explain to him that it was your choice to stay. He's real protective of you, you know."

"Maybe he just knows you a little too well," she teased, nudging him playfully with her shoulder.

"It could be that," he confessed, knowing that most of the Wookiee's concerns lay with Han's history of behavior with women. Leia yawned, bringing his attention back to the matter at hand. "C'mon, let's go get some sleep."

Still holding her hand, he led her down the hall, stopping to close the boarding ramp door, and then to the crew's quarters. Some time ago, he and Chewbacca had done some modifications there as well, separating what was once a single room into two.

Leia looked around, noting that Han's sleeping quarters were quite a bit like him – slightly unkempt but still practical. Although the room was much smaller than her own, she found the lived-in quality far more appealing. "This is nice," she commented, slipping off her coat, which Han took and placed hanging in his small closet.

"Glad you approve," he grinned, trying to conceal his relief at her observation. "The 'fresher's through that door," he said, pointing, "and you know where the kitchen and the exit are, should you need any of those."

She sat on the edge of his bed before pulling off her boots. The reality of the situation was starting to set in, and her heart threatened to pound out of her chest. While she trusted that nothing would happen between them without her permission, she wondered if it was something he thought about at all; she wasn't sure if she hoped he did or not. However, despite her nerves, when he started to pull the desk chair toward the bed, she stopped him. "I'm not going to make you sit in a chair all night; we'll share the bed."

He looked relieved as he remarked, "Thanks for that. I wasn't looking forward to having to sleep sitting, but I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Since when?" she joked, finding it amusing that he chose now – what could have been a situation just drenched with awkwardness – to be appropriate.

"You have a point," he conceded, waiting for her to crawl under the covers before he turned out the light. As he slipped into bed next to her, he couldn't help but smile a little knowing it would be concealed by the darkness.

While the bed was more than large enough for one, Han and Leia found it impossible to lie together without touching at least somehow. After minutes of subtle shifting and futile efforts at maintaining distance, Leia sighed in annoyance. "Oh, this is ridiculous," she huffed and proceeded to lay her head on his shoulder and wrap an arm around his chest. "If it has to be awkward, we at least deserve to be comfortable."

"Won't find me arguing with that," he grinned, more than happy with the arrangement. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest and was relieved to find that it was racing just as quickly as his; it helped to know that he made her just as anxious as she made him. "You sure Rieekan isn't waiting outside, ready to ship me back to Jabba?" he joked, recalling her previous evening's warning.

"Rieekan?" she asked, puzzled.

Han laughed to himself as he explained, "Ah, just something you said last night."

"Oh," she whispered, sounding a little embarrassed. "Well, if it's any consolation, I seriously doubt he would turn you in. You're far too much help to us… although, I imagine the funds from the bounty might be put to good use."

"Gee, thanks," he quipped, glad that she was in such good spirits. In honesty, he half-expected to wake from a dream; it was hard to believe that it was all really happening.

"So, what else did we discuss last night? I can only hope I didn't embarrass myself too badly."

Thoughts of Leia sobbing brokenheartedly over her lost Alderaan flooded Han's mind, and it wasn't something he wanted to put her through again. "Not much. You fell asleep pretty quickly," he told a half-truth as he traced absentminded circles with his fingertips across her back.

They lay in silence for a few moments, and Han soon realized that Leia was fast asleep in his arms, for the second night in a row. He felt a surge of self-satisfaction that of every man on Echo Base, she had chosen him to be her haven. Because of that choice, however he knew that a certain amount of responsibility and maturity would be due on his part, and he wondered if he would be able to be what she needed.

As she sighed in her sleep and snuggled in just a little bit closer, he realized that he would do whatever it took to be her consort and protector.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Good morning," Leia's sleepy smile greeted Han as he woke the next day. She had awakened only moments before to find the two of them tangled in one another, but she hadn't bothered to move. It was an odd feeling for her to wake up in the arms of a man who was not her husband, as both her royal upbringing and Alderaanian culture had been somewhat austere regarding appropriateness in matters of intimacy, but she told herself that everything was innocent enough.

"Morning," Han yawned, glad to see that it had all been real. "So, how'd you sleep?"

"Another night of restful slumber. It's official; you're my new security blanket," she smirked, wondering if he was beginning to regret his offer; instead he nodded, looking pleased with his newfound designation. "I wish I could just stay in bed all day," she protested, the thought of leaving this warm refuge for the cold outside almost too much to bear.

Han playfully held her a little tighter. "Just stay here and play hooky with me; they can survive without you for a day. Didn't you ever skip lessons once in a while as a kid?"

She shook her head; she had always been one to follow the rules. Even now, the day's responsibilities weighed heavy on her shoulders. "What time is it?" she wondered.

He shrugged. "Early."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause Chewie hasn't come bursting in here to use the 'fresher yet. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know you're here, so he wouldn't bother waiting around for privacy purposes."

As if on cue, the Wookiee opened the door to Han's room. He looked back and forth at the two of them before letting out a series of angry roars sent in Han's direction. Leia couldn't tell what he was saying, but it was an obvious reprimand.

"Now just wait a minute!" Han shouted back, sitting upright and breaking their entwinement. "You take that back!"

"Han, what's going on?" Leia demanded, placing a calming hand on his arm.

Suddenly remembering that she was there, Han explained, "He's accusing me of sullying your honor. Apparently he thinks that just because you're a princess, you can't make decisions for yourself. Didn't I tell you he'd react this way?"

"Chewbacca, it's all right. I sincerely appreciate your concern, but it was my decision to stay," she told him. "I assure you that the entire situation is strictly platonic and neither my nor Capitan Solo's honor is at risk."

"See?" Han added defiantly, glad to have Leia on his side this time. As the Wookiee gave up the argument and headed into the 'fresher, Han added crossly, "He should try minding his own damn business every once in a while."

She laughed at the way they bickered like an old married couple, amused by the fact that all would be well the next time they saw one another. "You're just angry because he likes me better."

"Well, I like you better most of the time, too, but you don't see me taking it out on him," he fumed like a child who had just been scolded.

However, part of what he had said caught Leia's attention. "Most of the time? What's that supposed to mean?" she questioned.

He grinned, hoping she would catch that comment. "You know, when you aren't yelling or insulting my ship or being an all-around royal pain in the—"

Before he could finish, she smacked him in the chest with a pillow. He turned slowly to stare at her, and she erupted into a fit of giggles. "Princess, I believe you have just declared war." As he moved toward her, she hit him with the pillow once again in a last-ditch effort to defend herself. However, Han was easily stronger than she was, and in a moment, he had not only taken the pillow away but also had her pinned down and involuntarily squeaking with laughter.

"Let go! I command you!" she ordered, realizing too late that the power that came with her royal status would do nothing for her here.

"Oh, you _command_ me?" he echoed, a devious look on his face.

"Whatever it is you're thinking about doing, just don't," she warned laughingly, all the while squirming to break free of his grip. "I'm serious, Han Solo," she added unconvincingly as a smile crossed her lips.

"Don't do what? This?" he asked before he began tickling her mercilessly. She shrieked and lashed around in an attempt to escape, finally managing to entrap both of his hands in her own.

As she struggled to catch her breath, the absurdity of their actions became something more serious. She and Han stared at one another, unspeaking, as he hovered over her, bodies intertwined once again. A million thoughts raced through her mind in that instant, and every single one terrified her.

It was Han, however, who broke the silence first. "You hungry? I'll make breakfast," he offered casually, climbing out of bed and choosing to disregard the moment of uncertain intensity between them.

Grateful, Leia nodded. As she followed him to the main hold, she wished she had the ability to read his thoughts. Merely a week ago, had they been in such a predicament, she was sure he would have taken advantage of it; as much as she hated to admit it, she would have let him. However, his graciousness and self-restraint both surprised and intrigued her. There was no more denying the attraction between them; the way he looked at her told her he felt it, too.

Han was sure that she was analyzing what had just transpired between them as he poured two cups of coffee. He had made the choice to pretend that it hadn't happened at all, but denial could only work for so long. "Busy day?" he asked, purposely interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh. Um… mostly inventory again. It seems that no one on this base but me is capable. Personally, I just think no one else wants to do it so they feign complete and utter incompetence," she replied, sipping the coffee he'd handed to her. "What about you?"

"Just periphery checks as usual. Honestly, it's nothing but snow and meteorites out there, but if it makes Rieekan feel less on edge, I'm glad to do it. Gotta admit, the Empire won't come to this place unless they get absolute confirmation that we're here, so I guess that's the one good thing about this snowball."

By that time, Chewbacca had joined them, and the trio chatted casually over a breakfast of some sort of sweet pastry that Leia had never tasted but found quite delicious. It was a wonderful change to do something as normal as sharing a meal with friends over pleasant conversation; any escape from this war, no matter how brief, was appreciated.

"I was just thinking," Han started, helping himself to a third serving of breakfast, "you should com Threepio to have your clothes for today brought here. It wouldn't look so good to have you walking out of here in a nightgown."

It hadn't occurred to Leia, but she was glad he had been thinking of her reputation. _Maybe he's not such a scoundrel, after all,_ she mused, wondering what other surprises he had in store for her. "Threepio," she called over the comlink Han handed to her.

"_Oh, Mistress Leia! There you are! I was wondering where you'd gone when you weren't in your room this morning. Artoo suggested—"_

"Threepio," she stopped him, knowing how he could get carried away sometimes, "I need you to bring a change of my clothing to the _Millennium Falcon_. And please be discreet."

"_Yes, of course. Right away_!"

Han shook his head, not even attempting to hide his dislike for the golden protocol droid. "You're lucky he didn't decide to run around base asking if anyone had seen you. I'm sure _that_ would've gone over real well. Nothing like news of a missing princess to start your day."

While she couldn't deny that Threepio had tried her patience on more than one occasion, he and Artoo had been with her ever since she could remember and held some sentimental value. "I know he's a droid, but you could be a little nicer. He was programmed for etiquette, not war, and I know he can be a bit fussy, but he's not all that bad."

The way his attitude affected her was unexpected, and he felt a little guilty. Sure, the droid could be annoying, but if Han was being honest, Threepio hadn't actually _done_ anything wrong. He didn't know her attachment to the pile of metal and wires, but he supposed he could understand it from the way he felt about the _Falcon_. "Sorry, Sweetheart, didn't mean to upset you. I'll try to be more friendly, okay?"

"Thank you." She gave a slight smile but no further explanation.

"Hello, Mistress Leia!" Threepio greeted her as he met them in the main hold. "Captain Solo, Chewbacca, good morning."

The Wookiee growled a greeting while Han offered, "Hey, Threepio. How're things?"

"Oh, quite splendid. Thank you for asking," he chattered away, seemingly happy that Han was being amiable. While Leia took the clothes and escaped to the 'fresher to change, the other two did their best to keep their patience with the incessant droid. "Master Luke has also requested your assistance with maintenance of a few of the ships. He hopes that you will oblige if your schedule permits."

Han nodded, deciding that he could spend a day away from his own ship's repairs. "Sure, no problem. Why don't you go let him know that I'll be glad to help?"

"Right away, Captain Solo!" he obliged, hurrying off to find Luke.

"Don't know how much more I could've taken," he admitted to his furry companion, who growled an agreement. "But if it makes Leia happy, I guess I can put up with him every once in a while." Han noted the expression on Chewbacca's face, but he didn't ask the cause; he didn't need to hear his friend's harebrained interpretations of his feelings for the princess.

Leia rejoined them moments later, once again dressed in her usual white snowsuit with her hair twisted into two neat braids. "I hope you don't find this too presumptuous, but I've left my nightclothes in the bedroom. It didn't seem to make much sense to bring them back and forth every night."

Han found her shy awkwardness despite an attempt to speak in a stately, ambassadorial manner to be endearing. He knew that she must have gone over the little speech aloud to herself dozens of times – he had once witnessed her prepare for a meeting with the members of the Alliance – and he wanted to tell her that there was no need for the diplomacy with him. But instead, he said casually, "That's fine with me. In fact, if there's anything else you'd like to keep on board the _Falcon_, you can have Threepio bring it here."

"Thank you, Han," she said with a smile that made him pay no heed to the fact that Chewie would probably grumble at him for days for effectively allowing her to move onto the ship without first asking his permission. "I should go before someone realizes I'm late and comes looking for me," she sighed regretfully, secretly wishing that she had taken Han up on his offer to avoid her responsibilities for the day.

When she left, Han waited for the Wookiee to unleash his rage. However, Chewbacca was as calm as ever. "You aren't mad about me inviting her to stay?"

[You're different around her, Cub. You're happier. I think she might be good for you. Much better than the mates you usually choose], he observed casually, as though stating a fact.

"Yeah, well, shows how much you know. She's not a _mate_, she's just…" he paused, realizing he wasn't quite sure where their unusual relationship put them. "It's not like that, okay," he insisted, as though saying it out loud would suddenly make him forget the way he felt when she wrapped her arms around him or what it was like to see her brown eyes and sweet smile when he woke. "It's not like that."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** First, I just wanted to thank everyone for the feedback, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story! To respond to YmaSolo's question, Han's past will definitely be touched on with upcoming chapters.

~Lucy

**Chapter 5**

Over the next few weeks, Leia and Han fell into a strange new routine. She had moved quite a few of her things into the _Falcon_; they were mostly everyday items, like a hairbrush, a few changes of clothes, and her favorite shampoo. Both wondered what the other thought of it, though neither said anything. Every night, she found herself crawling into Han's bed, unable to deny herself the comfort of his closeness. And every night, Han found himself waiting for her arrival, incapable of falling asleep without listening to her breathing and feeling her heartbeat against his chest. Each morning, they shared breakfast and conversation before going about their days, with only Chewbacca in on their secret new life.

"Hey, Leia," Luke greeted her cheerfully in the mess hall during lunch one afternoon. "Mind if I join you?"

"Of course not," she smiled, always glad to have his company. She hadn't had much time to spend with him as of late, and she missed him. Being around Luke was always just so easy; he didn't ever demand more of her than she was able to give, and she was grateful for that. Sometimes he seemed to know her in a way that she didn't even know herself.

"You seem happy today."

"I feel happy. It's amazing what sleep can do for a person." She didn't care to mention where or with whom she had been sleeping. It wasn't that she didn't _trust_ Luke; in truth, she generally trusted him more than she trusted herself. However, her fear of someone discovering their secret and losing the one small comfort she had on this planet was more than she could bear.

"I'm glad. Han and I have been worried about you lately. It's good to see you smiling again," he confided, taking a bite of his lunch.

"Han was worried?" she wondered, surprised. She'd noticed how different he had been lately – warm and kind and caring. Sure, he still managed to infuriate her at least once a day, but despite that, she had come to see them as friends. Sometimes as she lay in his arms falling asleep, she could see them as more.

Luke nodded. "He puts on a tough act, but he cares about you and the Rebellion. I mean, why would he still be here if he didn't?" he pointed out.

Hearing Luke's opinion on the matter made her happier than she felt it should. She did her best to keep her affection for the Corellian smuggler hidden, but the thought that he might actually return her feelings was too good to be true. "Have you seen Han around?" she wondered, suddenly needing his presence nearby.

"General Rieekan sent for him. I guess he's still there."

Leia's heart sank, and she suddenly felt ill. _Oh, God, Carlist knows!_ she thought frantically, her mind reeling with a thousand scenarios, each one worse than the last. She started to rise, determined to fix the mess she had made, when she spotted Han walking toward their table wearing an expression she couldn't read. "What happened?"

"Rieekan asked me to help Luke teach the squadron some new flight tactics and basic strategies," he explained, deciding not to let her keep worrying. "A little warning would've been nice, though, Your Highness," he added under his breath.

"If I had known, I would have given you one, Captain Solo," she muttered, annoyed that he had gone straight to blaming her.

Luke, however, seemed happy to hear the news. "That's great, Han. The guys'll be real excited for you to get out there and teach them a thing or two."

"Glad to help out," he shrugged, helping himself to half of Leia's sandwich without asking, surprised when she didn't react at all. "In fact, if you can get everyone together, we'll start after lunch."

"I'll go get everyone and meet you out there," the younger man replied enthusiastically, hurrying off and leaving Han and Leia alone at the table.

Despite the noisy lunchtime chatter surrounding them, Leia leaned closer to him before asking, "Do you think Carlist knows anything? Did he say something?"

When Rieekan sent for him, Han felt an unanticipated sense of relief instead of the jolt of terror he'd expected. Somehow, the thought of being able to be around Leia without a veil of secrecy was tempting. While he enjoyed her companionship and their new routine, he frequently found himself frustrated at their blatant lack of interaction outside the concealment of the _Falcon_; except for lunch, there was really no other excuse for them to "accidentally" bump into one another throughout the day. "No, he doesn't seem to. Why does it worry you so much anyway? You said yourself that he wouldn't do anything about it. Maybe you're afraid he won't think a Corellian smuggler is good enough for the Princess of Alderaan? Maybe it's because you don't think so, either," he said, his angry words flowing out like venom.

Leia was visibly hurt by what he had said, but he didn't care as tears began to well up in her eyes despite her attempts at self-control. "Han, that's not true," she whispered desperately; his accusation was like a fist to the stomach.

"Oh, yeah? Then what is it, Leia?" he demanded heatedly. When she didn't reply, he slammed his fist down on the table, causing the room to fall silent as Leia flinched at his anger. "That's what I thought," he snapped quietly before storming off, leaving everyone staring questioningly at Leia's tear-filled expression.

…

Later that evening, Han tried not to think about what had gone on between himself and Leia as he soared above Hoth in the small X-wing, but it was all that was on his mind. Her silence at his allegation left him bitter and hurt, and his intention had been to cause her the same anguish. However, as his anger subsided and gave way to a clearer head, he felt increasingly guilty at the obvious pain his words had caused. He realized that his insecurities about not being good enough for her and knowing she could leave him and have any man she wanted were the reason he'd started the fight, and he knew he was in the wrong. Nonetheless, he did his best to focus on the task at hand and coach the ever-eager members of Rogue Squadron.

"Nice work, Janson!" he called out as the young pilot mastered a technique he had just shown them. "All right, Antilles, let's see if you can do any better!" he goaded his fellow Corellian.

"Just watch this!" Wedge answered back, eagerly accepting the challenge. As Han expected, he performed the maneuver expertly, and he couldn't help but feel a bit of pride for his home planet and its contribution to the Rebellion.

"Good job, Rogue Squadron. That's enough for today; let's bring it in," he decided, leading them in a flight back to the hangar.

The group offered their thanks for his instruction, and Han headed back to the _Falcon_ feeling somewhat better than before. _Even if I can't get along with her, at least I can still help the Alliance,_ he told himself, pretending he hadn't already intended to find Leia and apologize once he'd gotten the chance to clean up.

However, the princess was already waiting for him; she stood still as a statue as he entered the main hold, carrying an armful of the things she had previously left aboard the ship. "Leia—" he started, surprised to see her there, but she lifted a hand to silence him.

"It's my turn to speak now, Captain Solo. I would like to do so without interruption." When he didn't argue, she continued composedly. "I've been thinking about what you said this afternoon. If you truly do believe those things that you said, then you honestly don't know me as well as I thought you did. I do not have to justify my personal thoughts, feelings, or actions to anyone, including you. I can see that it was a mistake for us to cross the boundaries that we have. Therefore, I feel it would be for the best that any further interaction between us should be kept strictly professional, as you are, undeniably, a great asset to the Alliance."

Her curt, businesslike tone stung. Just like that, she was ending everything before it even had a chance to begin, and the decision caught Han unprepared. "So I don't even get a say in this?" _Is it really that easy for her to just walk away?_ he wondered, feeling like a fool for thinking what they shared was anything more than business to her.

"I think you've said quite enough already," she snapped, struggling to keep control of her emotions. The last thing she wanted to do was start sobbing in front of him.

"You know what I think? I think you're scared, so you're running away. For the first time in your life, this thing between us is something you can't have complete control over, and it terrifies you," he told her, finally acknowledging that the unconventional relationship between them might be something more than they had previously been willing to admit.

Her contemptuous expression suddenly softened as she dropped her defenses; he took the opportunity to move closer, and he heard her breath hitch as he leaned in, his face mere centimeters from hers. Han paused for an instant to give her the chance to back away, and when she remained in place, he pressed his lips softly to hers.

The kiss began slowly and tentatively, although the urgency that both had been trying to fight soon turned to passion. Han moved his hands to Leia's tiny waist as she began running her fingers through his hair with the hand that was not desperately clutching her belongings. They carried on, completely lost in one another, until a loud _clang_ from outside startled them into separation.

"Just Chewie," Han explained, chuckling. He couldn't help but notice how lovely she looked in that particular moment; her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were downturned shyly. "You okay?"

"I can't do this," she whispered, her hand on his chest pushing him away.

"Leia, wait," he called out, but she was already down the corridor. "Fantastic," he grumbled, resisting the urge to throw something and feeling more confused than ever.

Luke watched from a distance as Leia practically ran from the ship, doing her best to pretend that she was invisible, but failing miserably simply because of who she was. "I wonder what's going on," he said aloud to no one in particular.

Wedge shrugged it off, his Corellian principles keeping him from getting involved in matters like that; Wes Janson, however, was more than glad to share what he knew. "There was some sort of scene in the mess hall today. She said something, and he got angry and left."

"Thanks, Wes," he nodded and, upon biding his flight team good-bye for the day, followed Leia out of the hangar down the hallways that eventually led to her chambers. "Hey, can I come in?" he asked as he knocked lightly on the door.

"All right," he heard her reply faintly, opening the door to find the young princess sitting on her bed, arms wrapped tightly around her bent knees, and tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

He sat on the edge of her bed, wondering how she could be so broken when she seemed fine only hours ago. He worried about her, sometimes more than he felt he should, although he couldn't explain his reasons. Leia didn't stop crying immediately, nor did he ask her to; instead, they sat together in a strange sense of peace at one another's presence, for the first time in each of their lives, feeling truly connected to someone else.

"Tell me what happened, Leia," he finally said as her crying subsided.

She sighed, wondering where to begin. She often wished she had a better reign over her emotions; as a child, she had regularly been scolded by various caretakers and tutors for her emotional displays that were unfit for a child of royal upbringing. Though she had managed with age to contain her outbursts around others, she found that keeping her feelings bottled up only made things worse when she inevitably met her breaking point. It was times like this when she most missed her father; he had been the only one who had never tried to make her into anything she wasn't.

"Han and I had a terrible fight, and when he tried to apologize, I... Oh, Luke, I've ruined everything. He thinks that just because of who I am – who I _was_ – that I don't think he's good enough. But I swear to you, that's not it," she insisted, hoping desperately that Luke didn't feel like the others – that she thought she was above them.

"Then what's holding you back?"

She wondered how a question so simple could, in reality, be so complex. It was something she'd been struggling to sort out, and she had only just discovered the answer for herself. "Everything I love dies, Luke."

Luke had sensed that the destruction of Alderaan and her time on the Death Star had affected her much more than she led anyone to believe, but he was glad that she was finally talking about it. He wondered if she had spoken to Han about any of this, finding himself hoping that she had; Luke got the feeling that the Corellian knew a thing or two about loss as well. "It doesn't mean you should stop loving." He took hold of her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "I know it's hard to do, Leia – to trust another person with your heart at its most vulnerable. But if you get the chance to love someone who loves you back, I think you should."

She smiled, more thankful than words could express to have a friend like Luke, and she knew he was right. As much as it scared her to have her heart broken again – to lose everything she held dear – she knew that she couldn't bear the thought of throwing it all away out of fear. "What if he leaves?"

"He hasn't left yet. He has no obligation to the Alliance, yet he risks his life for us on a regular basis. He could make better pay smuggling, and this planet wouldn't be anyone's first choice. He stays for you, Leia, even if you don't realize it," he told the young woman sitting next to him once again, sensing that she was having a hard time believing it. Everyone, himself included, could see that there was something more between the princess and the pirate, even if they were in denial.

"Luke, what would I do without you?" she asked, hugging him tightly. As he returned the embrace, she realized just how much she missed the simple act; it had been far too long since she had been given a real hug. "I should find Han and sort everything out, if he'll listen."

"He will," Luke assured her with a smile. "Just tell him the truth, and he'll understand."

…

A few hours later, Han lay wide-awake in his bed with his back turned to the door while the day's memories of his conversations with Leia played in his head like a melodramatic holo. He had told himself that he wasn't going to care about her anymore – that they were over and done with – and he was annoyed with himself for worrying that she would be plagued by the nightmares that seemed to trouble her so.

He heard the bedroom door unbolt but didn't turn around; as the 'fresher also squeaked open, he assumed it was only Chewbacca and went back to his thoughts. However, when a small warm body lay next to his only moments later, there was no mistaking his guest's identity.

As Han felt her hesitantly move her arm to drape over his bare chest, he noticed that the fabric wasn't the usual soft fiber of her nightgown. _My shirt_, he realized with a smile, finding the thought of her in his clothes incredibly enticing. A smooth leg grazed his own where his pajama pants had ridden up, and it was all he could do to keep still, fearing that any reaction from him would remind her where she was and send her running again.

Leia felt him tense at her touch, and she was pleased by the response; she was glad he couldn't tell what being that close to him was doing to her – especially as her hands caressed his bare skin. Feeling brave, she pressed her lips softly to his shoulder and smiled despite herself as he shivered. "It's not because you're a Corellian smuggler," she whispered, letting her cheek linger against his warm skin.

"Then why are you so scared to let people find out what's going on with us?" he asked, no longer angry in the slightest.

She breathed in deeply, finding a strange sense of comfort in the way the words rumbled through his body against the side of her face. "It isn't that. I'll go outside right now and shout it through the hangar if you'd like," she offered, relieved when she got a laugh out of him. "The truth is that I'm afraid to let things happen between us just to lose you."

He turned to face her, placing his forehead against hers. "I won't promise that I'm always gonna be around because I don't know what the future holds, and I don't want to lie to you. But what I can promise is that, if I ever do have to leave, it won't be 'cause I want to. If my being here ever gets in the way of your safety or puts the Rebellion at risk, then I have to go. 'Til then, I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Okay," she answered, though he could tell that she still wasn't convinced.

He cupped her face in his hand, and her eyes were drawn to his. "I've got a price on my head, Leia; that's the reality of the matter. It this point, it's probably more dangerous for me to go to Jabba than it is to just stay away and hope he calls off the bounty… or dies or something. But right now, I'm here with you, and that's all I can offer. I'm sorry if that's not enough, but it's the best I can do with the circumstances."

As she studied his face and took in the words he was saying, she realized that it was all she could ask of anyone – just to give her what they could in the present moment. She spent so much time fretting about the future that sometimes she worried she was neglecting the present, but she knew that _right now_ was the only guarantee. "I can live with that for now," she smiled, leaning in to plant a light kiss on his cheek.

"Okay, then." He grinned impishly, daring to run a hand up and down her bare thigh. She bit her lip, embarrassed, but to his delight didn't ask him to stop. "You know, I like you in my clothes," he smirked, adding quickly, "but I'd probably like you better out of them, if you know what I mean."

Even in the dimness of the room, he saw her blush crimson. "Han… I think there's something we should discuss," she said nervously, suddenly becoming very somber.

"What's wrong? Hope you aren't gonna tell me that I can't make lewd comments about my hopes for your various stages of your undress. 'Cause when you come to bed wearing my shirt, all promises go out the window," he teased, trying to lighten the mood. They had already experienced enough seriousness for one day, in his opinion, and he wanted nothing more than for them to be happy and carefree, even if only for the night.

"No, it's not that," she laughed, finding it funny that she was flattered and thrilled by his admissions of desire for her. "It's just that… well, I became involved in the Senate at a very young age, and that didn't exactly lend to much of a social life – dating, relationships, and the like."

He shrugged, not finding that surprising; Leia didn't strike him as the type of girl who had spent a lot of time carousing and partaking in that sort of behavior. "I figured as much. Honestly, I haven't really done the 'relationship' thing either, so I guess that puts us on even ground, right?"

Leia sighed in frustration, realizing that her subtle allusion had been completely missed by him. "Well, not quite. How do I put this? Um…" she faltered, at a loss for words for one of the few times in her life. "When it comes to… physical intimacy, I'm not exactly… well-versed?" she stumbled clumsily through her explanation, silently praying that he would finally catch on.

"_Oh_," he said simply, at last understanding. "So, when you say 'not exactly well-versed,' how 'not exactly' are we talking here?"

"Your hand on my leg is the extent of it," she admitted shyly, watching his reaction turn to one of surprise as he pulled his hand back abruptly. "And the kissing. You're not the first person to kiss me," she added in an attempt to wipe the shock off of his face, although it seemed to have absolutely no effect. "Damn it, Han, don't look at me that way!"

"Sorry," he apologized, trying to gather his thoughts. While he knew Leia couldn't possibly have been with many men in her life, the thought that he might be her first was unexpected. "You're a… virgin?"

She nodded, unsure what to make of his reaction. "Does that bother you?"

"No, no… it's not that. It just changes things a little," he answered, his mind reeling over her revelation. "It puts a bit more pressure on me, for one thing."

"Pressure on _you_?" she questioned, baffled how he had come to that conclusion. _If anything, I'm the one who's got the pressure! I've never done it before!_ she thought silently.

"Well, yeah. If I'm your first, that's gonna set a precedent. That's a big responsibility, you know; I gotta make sure everything's perfect," he explained, and she suddenly felt a surge of affection for the man lying next to her.

She combed her fingers through his hair and smiled as she gazed into his eyes. "I trust you, and when it happens, it _will_ be perfect. I'm beginning to think you might be more worried about it than I am now."

"Maybe," he laughed, losing himself in her touch as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. He wondered how someone as gorgeous as Leia hadn't ever been propositioned, but then he realized that maybe she had turned them down. _Until us_, he mused, very much liking the way it sounded. Han Solo couldn't honestly say that he had ever been in love, but he had a feeling he was falling fast for the stubborn, beautiful woman in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"_Organa, this is Rieekan. Do you copy?_" Leia's comlink buzzed early the next morning.

Grumbling, she reached over a sleeping Han to grab the ever-annoying little machine. "This is Organa," she yawned as she sat upright. "Is everything all right?" It was unlike Carlist to call for her so early.

"_Quite all right, but as this is a somewhat sensitive matter, I would like to discuss it with you in person. Let's meet in my office in half an hour. I'll contact Commander Skywalker, and you can inform Captain Solo that his presence is also requested. Rieekan out._"

"Organa out," she said, cringing at the way he had so casually assumed her access to Han Solo; of course Carlist knew about them. _Although,_ she grinned as she watched the sleeping man beside her,_ it's probably for the best_.

As she ran her fingers through his sleep-tousled hair, she wondered what it would be like to publicly hold his hand or kiss him on the lips, in a way that could be taken as more than simple friendship. While she still didn't think she would be brave enough to do such a thing just yet, the thought of being _allowed_ to do so was enough to make her as giddy as a schoolgirl.

She marveled at how relaxed he looked asleep; the usual worried furrows across his forehead were smooth, and she thought she saw the hint of a smile on his lips. Gingerly, she traced his features with her fingertips, pausing for a moment at the mysterious scar on his chin, wondering how he had gotten it. Finding the urge to kiss him suddenly irresistible, she indulged herself and was thrilled when she felt his hands enmesh her long, unruly hair.

"Now _that's_ the way to wake up," he chuckled, pleasantly surprised that she had acted so boldly as to kiss him first. He noticed that the bed sheets had somehow fallen away from her, revealing an expanse of the smooth milky skin of her thigh as she sat cross-legged next to him. He found it much easier to control his impulses now that he knew of her inexperience with such things – although his ache to be near her was stronger than ever – and it was a nice change of pace for him. He placed a soft kiss on the outside of her thigh, just a few inches above her knee, before sitting up as well.

"Carlist wants to meet with us – and Luke – about something. He said it was a sensitive matter, but he seemed to be in high spirits," she reported, switching into a more businesslike mode.

"Maybe we're relocating to a new base," Han offered, eager for a change from this cold, desolate world.

She laughed, shaking her head. "Even Carlist would be more excited about that," she joked, although she secretly hoped that Han was right. "Well, we'll never find out if we don't get out of this bed."

"Ladies first," he volunteer, adding playfully, "since you've got my only clean shirt."

"Thank you," she said appreciatively, rising slowly from the bed, fully aware that his eyes were on her. _Might as well make it worth his while_, she thought, feeling a bit mischievous. She walked slowly and purposely across the room and into the 'fresher, not looking back but feeling him watching her nonetheless. As she got to the doorway, back turned to him, she lifted her shirt up over her head, exposing a glimpse of her bare back and legs before she slipped inside the room.

"You're gonna kill me, you know," he shouted out at her as he picked his shirt up off the floor and pulled it on. Leia's scent clung to the fabric, and he soon realized that his entire bedroom had begun to smell like her. What surprised him more than anything was that he didn't mind a bit.

"Well, come on," she insisted as she emerged from the 'fresher about ten minutes later. "Why aren't you dressed yet?"

Leia heard him mutter something about bossy princesses and cold showers as he took his turn in the 'fresher, and she chuckled as she busied herself by making the bed. _Our bed?_ she tried out, surprised that she liked the way it sounded more than she had expected to. There was no doubt in her mind that she was falling for the rugged, handsome Corellian; she could only hope he felt the same. _Well, he's still here, isn't he? That has to mean something_, she told herself, remembering what Luke had said only yesterday.

"All right, Your Royalness. Let's see what the general has to tell us, then how about breakfast?" he offered, tugging on his boots.

She nodded, eager to find out just what was so important to Carlist. "Oh, and just so you can't say I didn't warn you, I think he knows. About us, I mean," she said as they walked through the still-quiet hangar to Rieekan's office. "When he called me on the comlink this morning, he asked me to tell you about the meeting like he knew we were together."

"Guess it saves us the trouble of having to tell him about us, then," Han shrugged, playing it cool although he was secretly relieved. He wasn't sure how to go about asking permission to be with Leia, or even if it was expected of him, and he was glad that it no longer seemed to be an issue.

"'Us', huh? What does that mean exactly?" she wondered teasingly, although she was genuinely curious to hear his interpretation of their odd and unconventional relationship.

"It means whatever you want it to mean, Sweetheart."

"That's not an answer," she frowned, starting to wonder if she was making their relationship out to be something more than it really was. It frustrated her sometimes that she couldn't seem to read him, and she wished that he would give her a straight answer instead of leaving her guessing.

He grinned, noting how cute she looked when she pouted like that; he was certain it must have gotten Leia her way many times in her youth. He nudged her playfully, thankful when she smiled. "If I had any good answers, you'd be the first to know."

When they arrived in Rieekan's office, Luke and Chewbacca were already there waiting for them. "Ah, now that everyone's here, I can tell you the news," the general began, rising from his chair. "The Bothans have expressed interest in joining the Alliance, and we feel it would be best for the princess to travel to Bothawui as a representative to meet with Borsk Fey'lya of Kothlis. The official meeting will be held this afternoon, but I wanted to inform you of the decision."

"I would be honored," Leia accepted, trying to hide her excitement at the prospect of not only a new Alliance member nation but also for the chance to go off-base for a while.

Rieekan nodded in approval, smiling at the young woman before him. She had grown up so much in the past few months, and he felt a swell of pride that he was there to see it, although his heart was heavy that her father never would. "Excellent. Captain Solo, would you be willing to escort the princess on the _Falcon_?"

"Of course," he agreed immediately; there was no way he was willing to let her go on such a mission without him.

"Commander Skywalker and Chewbacca have already agreed as well, so pending the official council announcement, the four of you will depart tomorrow morning."

…

"Where am I going to sleep?" Leia asked, shaking Han awake very early the next morning, hours before they were scheduled to leave. He grumbled and attempted to wrap his arms around her in hopes that it would lull her back to sleep, but she pushed him away. "I'm serious, Han! Luke doesn't know about us, and I don't think it's fair to just spring something like that on him when we'll be on this ship for three days."

He yawned and stretched out, and Leia fought back thoughts of running her hands over his bare chest. "It's four days. And there's a bunk next to the main hold. Got a bunch of boxes and other junk in there right now, but me and Chewie can get it cleaned up before we take off," he told her, and his simple resolution calmed her.

"Thank you," she whispered, her lips nearly brushing his ear as she leaned into him. She placed feather-light kisses along his jawbone, giving in to her urge to run her palms over his muscular chest. She suddenly felt his hands move under her shirt – or rather _his_ shirt that she had taken to wearing to bed. His touch left a red-hot path across her skin as he ran his hands along her torso, stopping just short of her bare breasts. Leia took a sharp breath in, unsure of what Han was going to do next.

However, instead of going any further, he pulled her into a warm embrace and kissed her softly. "Not today, Sweetheart."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she insisted, although they both knew it was a blatant lie.

"Like hell you don't," he laughed, making her blush. The truth was that he was thrilled that she seemed to want him as much as he wanted her, but he didn't want to scare her away by moving too quickly, even if she was determined to test his willpower to the fullest.

Leia shoved him playfully, glad that he didn't judge her for thinking such things. Then again, Han was different from the people she had once been surrounded by, and she had slowly started to come to terms with the fact that her life as a princess on Alderaan was no longer. For the first time in her existence, she had the opportunity to just be _Leia_, and the thought was intoxicating.

"What's on your mind? I can tell you're thinking about something," he wondered after a moment of watching her familiar, far-away expression that she got when she was deep in concentration.

She smiled at him, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist as they lay face to face. "I'm so thankful to have met you, Han Solo," she whispered before resting her head on his chest. She could hear the soft rhythm of his heartbeat; Han kissed her forehead and smoothed her hair, and soon she was fast asleep once more.

About half an hour later, Han was still awake, perfectly content to watch Leia as she slept. There was no denying that he had fallen in love with her, he realized in that moment. A part of him considered flying somewhere far away once they left Hoth, some place where they could forget about the Empire and the war and just be together and happy. The other, more reasonable part, knew that she would never go for something like that; she stood with the Alliance and so he would stand beside her.

Han sighed, remembering that he still had to clear out the spare bunk before they departed in a few hours. He slipped out of her sleeping embrace; she frowned at the separation but didn't wake. Not bothering to put anything on over his boxers, he made his way to the main hold and finally into the spare room.

It was dusty and full of boxes and scattered papers; he couldn't remember the last time he had been in this room, but it had obviously been a while. As he set himself to organizing and cleaning, he wondered just how he and Leia were going to coordinate their sleeping arrangements. Obviously, Luke would be sharing his bunk as it was the largest and could most easily fit an extra cot, so there was little hope of he and Leia sharing his bed during the four-day journey. _Guess we'll just have to sleep in here_, he thought disgustedly as he looked around the filthy room with a brand-new resolve to make it habitable.

[You're awake early], Chewbacca remarked as he began to brew a pot of coffee an hour later.

"I gotta clear out this bunk for Leia. She doesn't want to make Luke uncomfortable since he doesn't know about me and her, so we're stuck in here for now," he grumbled, finally stacking the last of the boxes outside the doorway. "Get rid of those for me, will ya?"

Chewbacca laughed at the sight of his friend scrubbing the room on hands and knees. [She must be a very special one, Cub. You love her].

Han frowned, wondering if he was really that transparent or if Chewbacca just knew him that well. "Yeah, so? Try not to act so damn surprised."

Unbeknownst to them, Leia stood in the hallway, inadvertently eavesdropping on their conversation. She now understood enough Shyriiwook to accurately interpret what was being said, and Han's answer sent her heart racing. _He loves me_? she thought to herself, almost unable to contain the immense swell of happiness she felt. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this way, if she ever had at all.

"I was wondering where you'd gone," she said after a few moments of waiting; she didn't want Han to know that she had overheard his conversation. "I just don't sleep well when you aren't there, which will prove to be quite the problem over the next few days," she sighed, stepping into the doorway of the bunk that would be hers for the trip.

"Don't you worry about that; I have a plan," Han assured her as he finished changing the bed linens.

"Do you, now?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Chewbacca handed her a hot cup of coffee, for which she thanked him before wondering, "Well, what's your plan?"

He chuckled, glad to see that she was just as eager to find a way to be together as he was. "Well, Luke'll end up staying in my bunk 'cause it's biggest. I'll just say I'm taking the night shift in the cockpit 'till he falls asleep and then I'll come in here."

Leia nodded, considering his proposition. "That could work. But what if Luke wakes up early and decides to stay here in the main hold? How will you get past him then?" she challenged, always prepared for anything and everything that could possibly go wrong. After all, it usually did.

"You could just come out first and distract him so I can sneak out. Or… you could just tell him," he suggested. "Luke's an open-minded kinda guy; it wouldn't affect his opinion of you, if that's what you're worried about."

She rolled her eyes at the suggestion, although she wondered how long she could keep this from their friend. "And how in the galaxy do you propose I tell him something like this, Captain Solo?"

"Tell me something like… what?" Luke faltered as he stood with his bags in the doorway of the main hold, open-mouthed at the sight before him – Leia wearing nothing but Han's shirt, and Han himself simply in boxers. "Maybe I should come back a little later."

"Oh, no," Leia whispered, blushing scarlet as she buried her face in her hands.

Chewbacca roared with laughter; he couldn't understand their aversion to letting people know about the relationship, and he was glad that it was out in the open at least with Luke. The look on all their faces was amusement in itself, and he was genuinely curious to see how it all played out. _Humans are such strange creatures in some aspects_, he mused, shaking his large furry head.

"I know what this looks like, kid, but it's not," Han stood to elucidate the situation, though as he stood there in only his boxers, he realized he may have just made things even worse. "I can explain."

Luke did his best to avoid eye contact with both of them, staring at his boots as he shook his head and raised a hand to stop Han. "You know what? Maybe it's best not to know. I don't need details."

Han shrugged, perfectly content with that response. "All right. Then I guess this is your room," he offered casually, stepping out of the spare bunk so Luke could get through.

"Thanks," the younger man nodded, sitting his bag onto the bed. "Oh, and we're cleared for takeoff as soon as you're ready to leave," he added, inadvertently catching a glimpse of Leia out of the corner of his eye that caused him to stare down at his feet once again.

"Great, great. We should be set to leave within the hour. Chewie, would you mind doing the exterior inspections while I get dressed and check out things in here?" Han requested, and the Wookiee growled an agreement, scooping up the stack of boxes as he left.

Leia all but bolted down the hall back to Han's room, and he followed in her wake, shutting the door behind them. "That was humiliating," she groaned as she let herself fall facedown onto the bed. "Poor Luke."

"I get the feeling he'll recover," Han quipped, enjoying the view he got as his shirt failed to cover up Leia's lacy underwear. "Aw, c'mon, Sweetheart, it'll be all right," he assured her as he sat down next to her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I can't even imagine what he must be thinking! Or rather, I _can_, and it is simply mortifying. Han, you've got to go out there and set him straight," she insisted, peering out from under the hair that had fallen over her face.

"Until when?" he questioned, adding quietly, "Unless you're backing out on me, Princess."

She made an exasperated sound as she realized he was right. For now, their relationship was perfectly innocent – or at least innocent _enough_. However, although she wasn't sure when, it was going to change into something more. What good would it do to insist to Luke, and everyone else for that matter, that nothing was going on between them when it was practically inevitable? "Would it kill you to be wrong, just once?" Leia grumbled, finally pulling herself up into a seated position.

"I guess you'll find out if it ever happens," he teased, receiving a playful shove in response. "Let's get some clothes on so we can get the hell off this ball of ice."

Leia wasn't about to argue with that; the idea of leaving Hoth, even if only for a few days, was more than enough to cheer her up. She pulled on a pair of trousers but decided to keep Han's shirt, as he had another that was clean. She watched him get dressed, his back to her, and she marveled at the way his muscles moved under his skin. Too late, she realized that Han had caught her ogling him, and she grinned naughtily like a child who had been caught sneaking sweets before dinner.

"See something you like?" he chuckled.

"Mmm, very much," she said in a tone that made him weak in the knees.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks once again for the continued feedback. Unfortunately, it's time for me to return to the real world (and 70 hour work weeks), so the story will probably not be updated as frequently as it has been previously. However, I will do my very best to update as often as my schedule allows, hopefully about once a week or so. Feel free to drop me a line anytime!

~Lucy

**Chapter 7**

"Good morning, Chewbacca," Leia greeted the tall Wookiee as she sat in the main hold, two days into their journey. It was still quite early, but Leia felt a bit restless nonetheless; she was more nervous about the mission at hand than she cared to let on.

[Good morning, Princess], he growled back cheerfully, placing a plateful of pastries in front of her. [You should have something to eat], he insisted, taking a plate of his own and joining her at the table.

Over the past weeks, Leia had stumbled into an easy friendship with Han's furry co-pilot. She had always liked Chewbacca, but now that she had begun to pick up quite a bit of Shyriiwook, she found that he was also an excellent conversationalist. "How long have you known Han?" she wondered, curious to learn more about Han Solo's past.

[It has been many years. I owe my life to him. He risked much to save me, including his career in the Imperial service], he revealed, and Leia was touched to learn of how their friendship had come into being.

"And before that?" she questioned further, eager to know more now that she had found someone who was willing to tell her. She wanted to know Han, and while she did know him in some ways, things like his past were still a complete mystery to her. She wanted to know all about the little boy who had grown up to be the man she loved, even if he wouldn't – or couldn't – tell her for himself.

[I only know that he has been alone from the time he was a very young cub], Chewbacca replied, leaving it at that. He had never pushed Han to tell him more than he was willing to confide, but he hoped in time that his friend would come to open his heart to the princess.

"He has no one? No family? How terribly sad," she remarked, imagining Han as a small child, scared and alone on the streets of Corellia. It was almost more than she could stand, and she realized why Han had always been so elusive on matters of his childhood.

[He has us], Chewbacca amended, and Leia realized just how right he was; she could be his family, and she hoped that he would want to be hers. [I must go now. I enjoy our talks, Princess], the Wookiee said politely before leaving to man the empty cockpit, leaving Leia momentarily alone with her thoughts and untouched breakfast.

"Mind if I join you?" Luke asked upon stepping out of his room a while later and discovering Leia sitting at the table in the main hold. She had been avoiding him for the past two days, and the absence of her company was obvious. He was sure that he couldn't stand another day of the silence between them, especially in the confines of the ship or the forced conversation with Threepio and Artoo.

"All right," she permitted, offering a shy half-smile. "I've been researching the Bothan culture, and quite frankly it seems odd that they would be interested in the Alliance," she chattered away, seemingly back to her old self.

"Really? How so?" he wondered, glad she was speaking to him again. Even if it was about the Bothans, whoever they were.

She furrowed her brow, as though trying to wrap her mind around it. "Well, they believe in a philosophical system called 'The Way,' in which individual benefit is placed above the group, and their species above others. I don't understand how a culture with such a viewpoint would consider the Alliance, when we're doing just the opposite – giving up our individual interests for the sake of the whole."

"Maybe that Borsk Fey'lya has realized that getting out from under the Empire's oppression _would_ be the best for his species. It just so happens that it's what's best for us all," Luke reasoned, biting into one of the sweet, flaky pastries from Leia's plate.

Leia nodded in agreement. "I also find it strange that Borsk suggested we meet on Bothawui when he's from Kothlis – he must have some clout if he's allowed to conduct such business there. The residents of Bothawui Proper feel that those from Kothlis are… inferior, I suppose? At least from what I've read. But then again, it's probably safer to meet on Bothawui, where the human population is somewhat larger and we'll be at least a bit more inconspicuous."

"Do you foresee any problems?"

She shrugged, trying not to be so pessimistic about their mission. "I don't know. From what I can tell, the Empire's grasp on the Bothan system isn't too severe just yet, so I can only hope we won't run into any trouble."

"I hope you're right," he said thoughtfully. Though they were no strangers to the worst-case scenario, he looked forward to the prospect of a little peace. "So, anyway… you and Han, huh?"

Leia cringed as he brought up the topic, but she was glad that he seemed to find it, at the very least, amusing. It was also a nice change to have things out in the open, to be able to confide in her dearest friend and the only other person in the universe who seemed to understand her completely. "So it seems. Do you think it's a bad idea?"

When he hesitated, she felt her heart drop to her stomach. "If you're asking if I think he's sincere about his feelings for you, I know he is. But if you're asking if I think it's going to last… I guess nobody decides that but the two of you."

His words weren't as harsh as she had feared they might be, but they still forced her to think about the possibility of the relationship's end. It frustrated her to consider such a thing when she and Han had scarcely begun to cross the threshold of something more than friendship, but she was ever the realist, never daring to let herself fantasize about the possibility of "happily ever after" and other notions stemmed from childish fairytales. "It doesn't do to dwell on it," she said aloud – more to herself than to Luke – after a moment of silence.

"Do you want to play a game of Sabacc?" Luke offered, trying to take her mind off the obviously touchy topic. "No offense, but you could use the practice," he grinned, glad that his teasing seemed to be cheering her up.

"All right. What I wouldn't give to beat Han at his own game one of these days. Can you imagine the look on his face?" she laughed as Luke stood to grab a deck of cards, laughing with her at the thought.

…

"Chewie, you mind covering here for a while? I'm beat," Han yawned as the duo sat in the _Falcon_'s cockpit late that evening. He had spent most of the past few days there, save the few times he had do repairs in the circuitry bay or grab a bite to eat. And, of course, to get some sleep.

[Of course. Sleep well, Cub], Chewbacca allowed, not feeling the least bit tired. Then again, his species needed far less sleep than his human companions; he also had to admit that he enjoyed the quiet solitude granted to him when the others had gone to bed. It gave him the chance to think of his home, Kashyyyk, and of his wife and son; he missed them, but it was his responsibility to honor his life-debt to Han Solo, though his human friend had often told him that the obligation was unnecessary. Still, he remained, as he always would.

Meanwhile, Han walked tiredly toward his bunk. It was late, and he hoped Leia hadn't waited up for him, although he had come to look forward to their late-night conversations. As soon as he opened the door, the sound of faint sobbing and whimpering was unmistakable; however, he rushed to Leia's side only to find her sleeping.

"Nightmare," he said angrily, suddenly seething with rage for what Darth Vader and the others had done to her on the Death Star. It was times like this that he wished he could read her mind, so he could know the truth without forcing her to relive the experience again; he wondered if she had told anyone the details of her captivity there. "What did those bastards put you through, Sweetheart?" he asked gently, smoothing her hair as he sat on the bed beside her. "It's all right; it's only a bad dream."

She calmed at his touch and drifted into a peaceful, quiet slumber. Han remained for a few moments longer, just to be sure she was all right. When she didn't stir again, he kissed her temple lightly before making his way into the 'fresher.

As the ultrasonic vibrations of the sonic shower washed over his body, he wondered if the Bothans had water showers. While the sonic was more practical for a ship like the _Millennium Falcon_, Han missed the feel of steaming water over his skin after a long day. He was sure that Leia had been used to such a luxury before the Rebellion, and he knew the little indulgence would be a comfort. Leia had also mentioned something about beaches on Bothawui; though he wasn't much of a fan, he could tell that she was and had already begun planning a small getaway for the two of them.

A soft tapping on the door startled him, and he hurriedly got dressed. Leia stood before him, pale and looking as though she might faint. Wordlessly, she threw her arms around his waist, clutching onto him like he was the only thing keeping her from drifting away. _Maybe I am_, he realized, holding her close.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, sounding absolutely broken as she pulled away after a moment.

Han, however, kept his grip on her, refusing to let her disregard what had just happened, what she had been through.

"Let go," she insisted, trying to push away. "Han, please."

"No, Leia. I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's going on. I thought maybe you'd come around on your own, maybe you'd finally trust me enough to tell me without pushing you. But I can see that it isn't gonna happen 'cause you're too damn stubborn for your own good. So, until you talk to me and tell me how to help you, we're just gonna stand right here. Even if it takes all night," he said firmly, tightening his hold.

She struggled for a second but soon realized that it was futile. "I don't know what you want me to say. I don't want to talk about what happened because it won't do any good. It won't change anything!" she shouted, starting to grow angry.

"What did they do to you?" he asked her once more, only this time she was awake to hear it.

He thought she was going to yell at him again, but instead she sighed heavily. "I don't know," she admitted, her voice cracking. "After they destroyed Alderaan, they took me to a room and gave me some sort of injection that made everything hazy. I know they asked me questions, and I remember… pain. I remember begging Vader to just kill me and be done with it, but he wouldn't. He haunts my dreams, Han; I see that horrible mask, and I hear him breathing. I see the faces of all the people I love screaming in fear before they're consumed by a fiery explosion," she said, the words spilling out so quickly that Han could hardly understand. "You can't help me; no one can."

"Leia, Honey, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But thank you for telling me – for letting me know what I'm up against. Don't give up on yourself; I'm not," he whispered softly as she cried into his chest. "Come with me."

Without explanation, he took her hand and led her down the hallway; she didn't protest. In a moment, they were in the cockpit with a very confused Wookiee, as he looked from Leia's red, tear-stained face to Han for explanation.

"We'll take over from here, Chewie. Everything's all right; she just needs a little room to breathe and get some things outta her system," he offered, and his co-pilot nodded in silent understanding. When they were alone, he spoke again as he took his seat in the pilot's chair. "It's a good place to think, here in the cockpit. Nothing but you and the stars, you know?"

She stood beside him, wrapping her arms around herself and staring out into the infinite space ahead. She now understood why he brought her here; there was an odd sense of comfort among the stars and planets that passed them by at hyperspeed. She couldn't explain it, but it made her feel less alone somehow to see every other world that continued to exist. "Do you really think I'll ever be all right again?"

"Yeah, I do. You're never gonna be exactly the same as you were before, but it gets easier. You find things to be happy about again, and every day that passes gets a little easier to breathe. One day you wake up and realize that you're actually glad you _did_ wake up, that there are things worth living for," he answered, giving her the sense that she was not alone in her suffering after all.

She took a seat in his lap, allowing him to cradle her like a child. She lay her head on his shoulder, and he ran his hand slowly up and down her arm. Suddenly, he began to sing a soft lullaby in a language she recognized as his native Corellian; as she listened closely to the words she couldn't translate, she wondered who had sung it to him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Their arrival on Bothawui was surprisingly uneventful, much to everyone's relief. They were permitted to land in the spaceport of Drev'starn, the capital city; there, they were greeted by furry, cream-colored creature with violet eyes.

"I am Borsk Fey'lya, Chief Counselor of the Bothan Council. May I be the first to welcome you and your guests to Bothawui, Your Majesty," he said in perfect Basic, bowing respectfully in her presence. "I greatly appreciate the opportunity to meet and discuss the matters at hand. However, I'm sure that your long journey has taken its toll, and matters of business are best discussed after rest and recreation. The Council will meet tomorrow morning at oh-nine-hundred, Standard Time; until then, please make yourself at home in our fair city. I'm sure you will find that it has much to offer in regard to cuisine, shopping, and entertainment. My assistant will escort you to your hotel – the finest in the city. If you need anything at all, my personal comlink number has been provided to you, and I will be glad to be of assistance."

They noticed a younger, deep-brown Bothan transporting their bags from the ship to a waiting shuttle.

"Thank you for your kind welcome, Counselor Fey'lya. My companions and I look forward to our stay," Leia replied with an air of regality that took the others aback, reminding them of both Leia's royal status and just how much power and respect she still commanded, despite the Empire's domination.

Chewbacca insisted on staying with the _Millennium Falcon_, along with Artoo and Threepio, who had been conveniently shut off after the second day. Meanwhile, the others followed Borsk's assistant – who had introduced himself as Ralk Dall'dren – onto the transport shuttle that would take them to the hotel. He was quite friendly, offering suggestions on the best places to eat and shops that specialized in human clothing. "Our beaches are also quite lovely this time of year, although you will find them quite abandoned as most Bothans are not particularly fond of swimming."

"That sounds lovely, Ralk. Thank you for your insight," Leia smiled politely, though Han could tell that the thought of spending the day lounging on the beach thrilled her.

"It is my pleasure, Your Majesty," he said shyly, and Han realized that the young Bothan was completely taken with the princess.

He exchanged a knowing glance with Luke, who was clearly thinking the same thing, and struggled not to laugh. After all, Leia's regard had gotten _him_ to stay on Hoth for nearly a standard year now, so he couldn't blame anyone else for being anything less than captivated by her. That wasn't to say he _liked_ having other men – regardless of species – fawning over her attention, but he knew her fidelity was unwavering.

Within moments, they arrived at the hotel. It was one of many impossibly tall buildings that the city held, and they were all eager to partake in a bit of luxury that seemed to be present.

"Here we are," Ralk announced as the shuttle came to a stop. Uniformed busboys – two Bothans and a human – hurried to take their bags while Ralk offered his hand to assist Leia's exit. "I hope you will find the suites to your expectations; a private staff has been assigned to your floor for your convenience, day and night," he told her as they walked into the ornately decorated hotel lobby, blatantly ignoring both Han and Luke.

"Maybe I should quit shaving for a while," Han remarked in a loud whisper, causing Luke to laugh while Leia turned to shoot him a warning glare. "I was only kidding," he muttered like a reprimanded child, making Luke laugh even more.

"These are Counselor Fey'lya's honored guests," Ralk announced to the concierge, who nodded once in understanding.

The old Bothan shuffled through the datafiles, finally replying, "Ah, yes. Floor 872 in its entirely – that is, two grand suites – has been reserved for Captain Han Solo and guests, as arranged by a General Carlist Rieekan. Is this correct?"

"I… Yes," Leia answered, realizing that she had completely forgotten to ask Carlist anything regarding their lodging arrangements. _Of course he would put the reservations under Han's name; it wouldn't be wise to document the fact that I'm staying here. And the Empire is bound to know Luke's name after what happened with the Death Star_, she reasoned with herself, once again able to find her composure.

"Allow me to show you to your room, Your Highness," Ralk offered, but Han abruptly interrupted.

Taking Leia's hand into his own, he replied curtly, "Thanks, but I think we've got it from here. Nice to meet you." With that, he led her toward the turbolifts with Luke following right behind them.

"Han, that was unbelievably rude!" she fumed once inside the confines of the lift, giving his arm a smack for good measure. "We haven't even been here an hour, and already you're insulting them. The Alliance needs every member it can get; this is no time to go making enemies!"

He shrugged, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't anger her any further. He had meant for this time away from Hoth to be peaceful and relaxing, but he had already started a fight. "I didn't like the way he looked at you," he offered, and her anger softened at the confession.

"All right, all right. Please just try to behave better in the future," she smiled, all hints of a foul mood gone from her voice. She considered how she might feel if some other woman showed deliberate interest in Han right in front of her, and she knew she would have reacted in a similar fashion.

Luke shook his head, watching the scene that had unveiled before him. He wondered how Han managed to do that – to get Leia to forgive him so easily despite making her rage in a way that no one else could. _Then again,_ he thought, _Han can make her smile in the face of the greatest tragedy of her life, so maybe it's a fair tradeoff._ He was glad for both of them; despite an initial draw to Leia, he had now come to see her as a sister of sorts. And Han had been like the older brother he'd always wanted growing up – full of worldly knowledge and practical advice that he gladly shared with the younger pilot.

"Well, here we are," Han announced the obvious as they reached their floor.

Before them were two large wooden doors, presumably one for each of the suites that comprised Floor 872. Han went for one while Luke chose the other, leaving Leia in the hallway to wonder if Carlist had intended Han as her roommate.

"Leia, you gotta come see this!" Han called out, and she realized that just maybe Carlist had decided that the choice was to be hers.

As she stepped into the main room, she gasped at the sight of such an elaborate design; the furniture sat on a base of smooth carved wood and the cushions were a stunning shade of cerulean. The stone floors were grey with specks of silver and red as they glimmered in the light of the fireplace. Silk curtains the same shade as the cushions reached from the ceiling to the floor – a distance Leia estimated must have been fifteen feet. Behind them, Leia discovered a beautiful balcony adorned with dozens of plants she didn't recognize, overlooking the busy city before them. Above her, two chandeliers provided the cavernous room with a dim calming light.

To her left was a small kitchen. She wondered if she might be able to convince Han to stay in and cook for her one evening, wanting his undivided attention more than the food, though she hardly thought it was fair to keep him from indulging in the city's cuisine after months of only rations. _Then again, he_ has_ been off-world quite a few times since we've been stationed on Hoth_, she told herself, reconsidering.

"There you are," Han said as he came bounding into the room; she couldn't have described the look on his face as anything but ecstatic. "I have something to show you," he said cheerfully, grabbing her hand and practically dragging her to the bedroom.

"What in the world has got you so… excited?" she asked, suddenly understanding his enthusiasm. They stood in the large refresher, and all Leia was able to process about it was that the oversized bathtub was equipped with spouts for _running water_. "Oh, Han… this is wonderful!"

"Thought you'd enjoy it. Why don't you go ahead and unwind; I'll wait for our bags and figure out dinner plans," he offered and was rewarded with a grateful kiss on his lips. He chuckled at her reaction and decided to see how Luke was settling in.

"Aren't these rooms fantastic?" the younger man answered the door with a smile. "I'd forgotten what it's like not to have to share the barracks with three other people. I have to admit, I might sign on for more off-world missions if this is any indication of what they're like."

"Rieekan's only got us set up like this 'cause Leia's here. Even he could tell that she needed some time off that frostbitten excuse for a planet," he shrugged, having a seat in the oversized chair in the main room of Luke's suite.

"Speaking of Leia, where'd she run off to?" he wondered, testing out a sofa.

Han grinned, the blissful look on Leia's face still fresh in his mind. Her happiness meant more to him than his own these days, and he was thankful that she had the chance to escape her troubles, to be free for a moment. "She's in the bath."

Having grown up on the desert planet of Tatooine, Luke had never been able to fathom wasting an entire tub of water for a bath when sonic showers worked just fine. However, he realized that their princess hadn't previously had such restrictions, and he shared Han's happy sentiment at her rare comfort. "I think this trip'll be good for her. I'm sure you've noticed that she's been going through… some things, lately. She's really fragile right now, you know, and… well, I guess now's as good a time as any to ask what's going on with you two. I'm wondering as her friend _and _yours."

He had hoped Luke would drop the subject completely, but he knew the young man's loyalty to the princess was steadfast. It was one of the things that he found so admirable in the kid from Tatooine. "I'm just trying to be what she needs me to be. I don't know what that makes us or what it means. If you're trying to ask if I'm gonna break her heart, well… I'm gonna try damn hard not to. I'll tell you what I told her – that I'll stay as long as it doesn't put her in danger. I'd die to keep her safe, if that's what you're asking."

Luke nodded; he'd gotten the sense that Han's feelings were genuine, but it made him feel better to hear the confirmation for himself. However, they didn't have a chance to discuss it further because a knock at the door announced the arrival of their luggage.

Han tipped the busboys with a few of his spare credits and returned to their suite with the bags. There was no sign of Leia, so he decided to wait for a while longer, hesitant to interrupt her relaxation. Instead, he opted to explore the main room, almost instantly finding a holoprojector. While he had never been very fond of watching the reports of life as lived by others, he found himself drawn to the HoloNet News channel. If nothing else, it would be an opportunity to gain some insight into the goings-on of the Empire.

However, after nearly an hour of watching the mindless drivel, Han realized that he wasn't going to learn anything of use and turned the machine off. Sighing, he decided he had better check on Leia.

"Hey, Sweetheart. Got your bags out here," he offered, knocking as he stood outside the door.

"Would you mind bringing them in?" she called out, shocking him with her request.

For an instant, he wondered if maybe it was a trick question but quickly decided that he didn't really care. Cautiously he opened the door just a bit; when he wasn't met with screaming or an object being thrown at his head, he stepped inside.

Leia was still submerged in the bathtub, only her head and the tips of her knees visible through the thick blanket of bubbles. Her hair was piled in a loose, messy bun atop her head, and she lay back with her eyes closed and a relaxed smile on her lips. "This has been the most magnificent bath in the history of baths," she announced, sounding like the young, carefree young woman she should have been.

"So I see," he chuckled, setting her things down in front of the large vanity mirror before taking a seat on the edge of the marble tub. "You've gotta be all wrinkly by now; any longer in this water and you'll turn to mush."

She examined her fingertips, finding that they were, indeed, quite corrugated. She frowned, concluding that he was right. Although the thought of leaving the warm, bubbly water was unpleasant, she remembered that they would be here for a standard week, give or take a few days; besides, there were many other indulgences in which she could partake, and she intended to make the most of this visit.

"All right," she sighed heavily. "Would you please hand me a towel?" As he gave her the fluffy white cloth, she finally noticed the way he was looking at her – there was a hunger in his eyes that she knew all too well by now, and she was suddenly aware of the state of affairs in which they found themselves. "And Han, you can go now," she laughed, delighted to have finally caught him off-guard in an unabashed moment of lust.

"Can't blame a guy for hoping," he quipped, though Leia swore she saw something resembling embarrassment cross his visage. It wasn't that she truly _wanted_ to torture him that way, although she was beginning to enjoy the way his eyes raked mischievously over her. _He's the one who wants to take things slow,_ she told herself, _so it's really his own fault._ She then wondered with a mixed feeling of exhilaration and apprehension just how much longer his good behavior would last.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"You look beautiful," Han smiled as she stepped into the main room wearing a scarlet dress that hugged her in all the right places. He also noticed that her hair was mostly down, cascading gracefully over her shoulder, save for one small braid on the right.

"You're not so bad yourself," she retorted, admiring how handsome he looked in his freshly pressed suit, clean-shaven and hair combed. He reminded her now of the way he had looked at the ceremony on Yavin, just after the Death Star's destruction. It was that evening that she finally admitted to herself that he really was quite good-looking and maybe even a decent human being. She also realized with a small grin that it was the first time she could recall him giving her the very look he gave now. "We should go; we've already kept Luke and Chewbacca waiting long enough."

The four had decided to dine out on the town and do a little exploring. Luke had volunteered to meet the Wookiee in the hotel lobby while Han waited for Leia to finish getting ready, although it had been nearly half an hour since then.

"_We've_ kept them waiting?" he teased, taking her arm in his own. "Although… I gotta say, it was worth it. What do you say we head back to the bedroom and make 'em wait a little longer?"

She momentarily considered his proposition, immediately scolding herself, hoping that he didn't notice her look of contemplation. She knew her defenses were weakening, and it frightened her. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with Han in that way because she did, desperately. However, her own insecurities at both her lack of experience and his past history were constantly at the back of her mind, keeping her from acting on her desires. "Captain, please control yourself," she said quickly as they stepped on the elevator, thankful that he couldn't read minds.

[There you are. We were beginning to worry], Chewbacca growled playfully as they finally arrived in the lobby.

"Don't look at me. It's not _my_ fault," Han said immediately. "We would've been down sooner if _someone_ hadn't decided to change her dress three times."

"Nothing fit right," she muttered under her breath, self-conscious that he had divulged such information to them; she knew they would think it quite silly, and that was the last thing she wanted to be viewed as. She didn't disclose that, however; nor did she say that the reason none of her things fit was because she hadn't been eating much lately. Despite finally beginning to feel the hints of normalcy returning, her appetite was generally absent. So far, no one had noticed that she usually just moved the food on her plate around instead of eating and hoped that someday eating could be palatable again instead of a necessary chore.

"Don't worry about it," Luke assured her with a smile. "I had the reservation pushed back an hour, so we should be right on time. According to the concierge, this place is supposed to have the best food in Drev'starn. I just hope we share similar tastes."

The doorman hailed them an air taxi, and they made the short trip to the restaurant. It was already beginning to get dark out, and Leia yawned, realizing just how exhausted she actually was. Nonetheless, she was determined to enjoy the evening and the company of her dear friends, resolving to sleep in during her time on this planet – something she hadn't done in years.

"Don't fall asleep just yet, Princess. The night is young," Han whispered, leaning in so close that his breath was hot against her face, causing her to shiver despite the warmth of his proximity and the cramped vehicle.

They arrived at the restaurant not a moment too soon, in Leia's opinion. She wished Han wouldn't test her that way, invading her personal space and causing such a reaction, particularly in front of the others. It was one thing when he pushed the boundaries when they were alone; it was quite another to make such a public display. She always meant to admonish him for such actions, yet she couldn't ever seem to find her voice when it happened.

The restaurant was crowded, but they were seated at a somewhat secluded table that allowed them enough privacy to speak freely without the worry of being overheard. The princess had a sneaking suspicion that Borsk Fey'lya had something to do with that; as much as they liked to pretend they were inconspicuous, three humans and a Wookiee on a planet of mostly Bothans had to have caused a stir.

"So, what do you make of things so far, Leia?" Luke wondered, asking aloud what the others were all thinking.

She shrugged as the waiter handed a menu to her. "They still want to meet with me to discuss… _matters_, so I suppose it's going as well as expected. I have to admit that I find it difficult to anticipate how things might proceed, given the particular tendencies of such a society, but Carlist assured me that we have every reason to be hopeful. Only time will tell, I suppose."

"Well, if nothing else, at least we're getting a nice vacation out of it, right?" Han chimed in.

"At least," she repeated, shaking her head at his laissez-faire attitude. While the personal benefits of her mission here were undeniable, her primary concern was securing an additional ally for the Alliance. When she finally realized that she had yet to read the menu, she came across a pleasant surprise. "Roast gorak in malla petals!" she read out loud, causing her dinner companions to stare in puzzlement. "It's an Alderaanian dish. I didn't expect to see it again."

"I think you should order it," Luke volunteered, hoping the familiarity would do her some good.

Leia shrugged hesitantly, wondering if the dish she had enjoyed as a youth would be a pleasant memory of what she'd once had or an agonizing reminder of all that she'd lost.

Han knew the expression on her face, and he feared that her guilt over Alderaan would offset any progress they had been making. "Luke's right, Honey. You should get it; don't let yourself forget the good just so you don't have to think about the bad. I'll order your second choice, and we'll switch if the memory is too painful, all right?"

"Thank you," she whispered for what she was sure was the thousandth time. Once again, he had saved her from herself, and the words didn't seem like enough.

…

After dinner, the group decided to explore the city on foot for a while. Leia was feeling very full, though quite proud of herself for managing to eat her Alderaanian dish without so much as a tear; in fact, the memories it drew were those of a happier time, and she was surprised to remember them without guilt.

Han, on the other hand, was starting to feel the effects of the whiskey that he and Chewbacca had enjoyed over dinner. Their younger companions had immediately declined the drink, and he and his co-pilot couldn't fathom the idea of letting it go to waste. However, he was beginning to think that he should have reconsidered as he put an arm around Leia's shoulder for balance.

"Too much to drink?" Luke asked laughingly, while Han simply shrugged, unable to come up with a witty retort. "That's all right; I guess Leia and I owe you one."

"Yeah, I guess you do, kid," he agreed, although he didn't particularly like the idea of having to depend on anyone but himself or Chewie. _But Luke and Leia, they're different than the people I'm used to. They're honest, good people who actually give a damn about me_, he realized. Maybe he needed them as much as they needed him.

Leia smiled when Han pulled her nearer, enjoying the excuse to have him so close to her. His weight against her tiny frame slowed them down, but they were in no hurry. Despite the late hour, the city was still buzzing with life. Dozens of shops sported illuminated signs, tempting many a passer-by; traffic zoomed high above their heads, reminding them just how small they really were in the grand scheme of things.

It wasn't long before the fatigue of their long journey in space set in, and they agreed to turn in for the night. After walking Chewbacca back to the spaceport, the other three decided to take a taxi back to the hotel.

"Han, stop that!" Leia whispered sharply as his hands began wandering shamelessly over her body as they sat huddled together.

"Luke doesn't care. Do ya, kid?"

The younger man had been doing his best not to look in their direction as he shrugged, "Don't mind me."

Han started to say something but quickly closed his mouth upon noticing the expression on Leia's face. Even drunk, he knew better than to test her when she wore that look. With an overly heavy sigh, he placed both hands on his lap, resolving to behave himself, at least until they got back to the hotel.

When Luke burst into laughter, Leia threatened, "If you think it's so funny, I'll send him home with _you_ tonight."

"No, thanks. I'd rather not be felt up by some Corellian pilot, if it's all the same to you," he teased, embarrassing her with his crude remark. "I'll leave that up to you."

"Thanks a lot," she muttered, relieved as they arrived back at the hotel, while Luke continued to smirk at her obvious discomfort regarding the situation, even after the elevator arrived at their floor.

"Home sweet home," Han announced to no one in particular once they were finally back in their suite. "You know, tonight was nice. The food, the conversation… hell, just being out of that damn snow. It was almost like before, you know?"

She nodded, fully understanding what he meant. It had been so long since she had done something as normal as a night on the town with friends, and a part of her missed it desperately. "We should get you to bed, Captain Solo. I believe it's _you_ who's the drunk one for once."

"Yeah, you're probably right. But I gotta… try out that tub first," he decided, nearly falling over the wooden end table.

"A bath? You'll drown in the state you're in!" she protested as she hurried to his side, holding onto him to keep him balanced. "Couldn't it wait until morning?" When Han shook his head, she sighed deeply. "Should I call for Luke to help? Or Chewbacca?"

"No, I'm all right," he insisted, nearly falling over as he attempted to remove his boots.

"Just sit," she commanded, and he obeyed gladly, falling back onto the comfortable sofa. Her mind was reeling as she slipped off one boot, then the other. Han could hardly hold himself upright; there was no way she was allowing him to get anywhere near water unsupervised. However, it seemed to mean that she was the one who would have to handle it.

Han furrowed his brow, examining her as she knelt at his feet. "What's with the face?"

"What face? I'm not making a face."

Despite the drunken haze, Han realized exactly what was going on. "You've never seen a naked man before, have you?" he asked, and the way she tensed at the question told him the answer.

"Of course I have," she insisted, though unconvincingly. "I took anatomy lessons in school, and a number of Alderaanian artists incorporated nude subjects into their artwork. And…" Leia hesitated, wondering if she should confess something she had never told anyone. "Well, there was a holo once – it wasn't mine, it belonged to a friend at University – and… well, it didn't leave much to the imagination."

He laughed, wondering where she and her friends had gotten hold of such a holo, but he didn't ask. He knew it was making her uncomfortable, but he couldn't understand; only hours ago, they had been in reversed positions – albeit under very different conditions – and she hadn't been fazed by that. "Well, you've got two choices. One, you let me go alone and possibly drown. Or two, you come in there and make sure I don't. Gotta say, I'm hoping you choose two."

"I don't suppose it would be very wise to risk our pilot cracking his skull open," she resolved, and he grinned. "Although, I'm sure Chewbacca is more than capable of getting us back to Hoth."

"Aw, admit it," he said as they made their way to the refresher. "You'd miss me if anything ever happened."

"Maybe," she laughed quietly at their banter. The truth was that, should anything happen that kept them apart, she _would_ miss him. It had been nearly a year since he burst unceremoniously into her life, and she was better for it. He was one of the few people who dared to challenge her, to disagree with her and enrage her. However, he was also one of the few who could make her feel like she wasn't going to fall apart at any given moment, that she was safe and loved.

She felt his eyes on her as she turned the water on, purposely adding a generous amount of the scented liquid that soon filled the tub with bubbles. Leia wondered if he was beginning to sober by now, which would spare her the awkwardness of the situation. However, he soon spoke, and his slow, slurred speech indicated that he was still quite intoxicated.

"A bubble bath? Men don't take bubble baths!" he insisted, discarding his vest on the floor and fumbling with his shirt's buttons.

"Don't push me, Han Solo," she warned him, slapping his hands away and undoing the buttons herself. The innocent moment then became something more as she slipped his shirt over his shoulders and off of him, his bare chest eye-level. She breathed in deeply, realizing that she had been holding her breath all the while. "All right, you can finish undressing and get into the bath," she told him, turning her back.

"Ah, go ahead and sneak a peek. I know you're curious. You're always curious about everything," he offered as she heard the ruffling of removing clothing, then by a _clank_ as he dropped his belt followed by a soft thud which she could only assume was his pants.

"No, thank you," she declined, back still turned to him. He was right; she _was _curious. However, her Alderaanian upbringing, which deemed lesser situations inappropriate, kept her from turning around. She told herself that it was because he was drunk and it would be wrong to take advantage of the situation, though she knew well that his offer would stand even if he weren't under the influence of all that whiskey.

As Leia heard a bit of splashing followed by a loud sigh of relaxation, she allowed herself to turn around and was relieved to see him appropriately submerged and concealed by the layer of bubbles and foam. "You know, I thought Corellians were renowned for their ability to hold their liquor."

"Even us Corellians have our limits, Sweetheart. Then again, I've never been one to pay attention to boundaries," he smirked, leaning back until everything but his face was submersed.

"Don't I know it," she shook her head as she squeezed a small amount of shampoo into her hands. "Sit up so I can do something about your scruffy-looking hair."

"Hey! My hair's not scruffy-looking," he frowned, sitting up as he was told. "Besides, I haven't had time to get it trimmed seeing as I've been running missions for a certain Princess and her Rebellion."

She grinned with self-satisfaction when he moaned softly as she massaged the shampoo into his hair. "Fair enough," she conceded, deciding that she preferred his hair long. "On second thought, you should postpone that haircut for a while longer. Scruffy's not so bad."

Han dunked his head underwater once more, much to Leia's dismay, though he surfaced a moment later. "Don't do that! You'll drown," she fumed, scowling.

"You're beautiful, you know," he said simply, watching her expression change to a shy smile. He held her face between two soapy hands and placed a soft but passionate kiss on her lips, thankful that such a day had come where he could do so freely. "Beautiful. Even when you yell."

"And you're drunk," she retorted, combing his damp hair with her fingers.

"Maybe, but I still feel the same way sober. What man in his right mind wouldn't? You have to have noticed the way all the guys at Echo Base can't take their eyes off you or stop whatever it is they're doing when you walk into the room."

"I noticed the way the women in that restaurant – both human _and_ Bothan – were looking at you," she admitted, revealing her insecurity about the issue for the first time.

"Sweetheart, I wasn't lookin' at anyone but you," he assured her.

She stood, breaking their contact as she went to get a towel. "And when you're off running missions and I'm not there with you?" she asked, immediately amending, "Never mind. You don't have to talk about that. I think I'd rather not know." She turned her head as she held the towel out in front of her, soon feeling his warm, wet hands over hers as he took it from her and wrapped it around himself.

Han's thinking was clearer now, and he could see that thoughts of him with other women polluted her mind. He knew the uncomfortable conversation would come sooner or later, and he chose that moment to clear the air. "I won't lie to you and say that I haven't been with anyone else, 'cause we both know that ain't true. But since we've been together – before that, even – it's only been you."

"Okay," she nodded, sounding unconvinced as she left him alone to dress.

A moment later, he joined her in the large comfortable bed, relishing the softness of the linens against his skin. She lay facing away from him, far on her side of the bed, but he moved closer, wrapping his arm around her waist. "You're upset," he remarked, hoping she would talk to him about what was bothering her.

"I'm not upset. It's just that sometimes I wonder if maybe you'd be happier with someone less… complicated."

"I'm happy with you," he promised, kissing her cheek.

_But for how long?_ she thought to herself, wondering when he would finally tire of her insecurities and the guilt and nightmares that constantly overwhelmed her. He had mentioned love, but Leia knew that sometimes even that wasn't enough.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

When Han woke the next morning, he noticed two things. First, his head was pounding. And second, Leia was gone. Without opening his eyes, he reached over to her side of the bed to be sure and was met with only the warm indentation where she had recently lain. With a sigh, he forced himself out of bed to look for her, hesitating slightly when the room started to spin. "What kinda whiskey _was_ that?" he muttered to himself as he got his bearings.

It didn't take him very long to find her. He watched quietly from the doorway as she stood in front of the mirror in the 'fresher, staring intently at her reflection. "You okay?" he asked, drawing her attention.

"I'm fine. I don't know why I always expect to wake up and look older, but every year I do. Ever since I was a little girl," she said, receiving a puzzled look in reply. "Oh, I apologize! I must not be making any sense. Today's my birthday, that's all."

"Well, then, happy birthday, Sweetheart," he smiled as he moved to embrace her tightly from the back. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would've gotten you a gift or something."

She shrugged, admitting, "I guess I'd forgotten about it until this morning when I received a bouquet of allarutes from Carlist. It's funny how what once was a weed growing on Alderaanian lawns is now a precious gift. Although, I do find it odd that he chose this particular flower."

"Yeah, why's that?" he questioned, breathing her in as he buried his face in her soft hair.

"A local story told that a woman who found one growing in her lawn would soon also find herself with child," she explained, trying not to laugh at Han's expression. "I have to admit that I'm not entirely clear what his underlying message might be – a warning or an encouragement."

In the past, Han had never really let himself think of what it might be like to have children someday. As far as he was concerned, the life he led was not one that would lend well to fatherhood; besides, as he had never had parents of his own, he was sure that he wouldn't be very good at it himself.

However, that was before Leia and his new, honorable life with the Rebellion. Though he hadn't meant to, sometimes he thought of what it might be like to have a son with his boldness and lopsided grin, whom he could teach to pilot the _Falcon;_ or a daughter with Leia's brown eyes and untamable spirit, who would undoubtedly steal his heart. He wondered what it would be like to build a life with the woman in his arms, to raise their children in their very own home and wake up every morning in one another's arms for the rest of their lives.

"But it wouldn't be right to bring a child into the world in middle of this war," she said resolutely, though Han sensed a hint of sadness in her voice. "Anyway, I should get ready for the meeting with the Bothan Council."

"Now wait a minute. You still haven't told me what you want for your birthday," he grinned, restraining her in his embrace.

She shook her head, smiling. "I'm twenty years old, Han. That's far too old to demand frivolous recognition and gifts on what is, ultimately, just another day. Particularly now, with far more pressing matters at hand."

"All right, all right," he gave in, releasing her to go about her business. "But I gotta say, you're ruining all the fun. At least promise we'll go out for drinks to celebrate."

"Haven't you had enough _celebrating_ for a while?" she teased; Han caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and was dismayed to find that he looked just as terrible as he felt. "Besides, the Bothans are holding a state dinner in my honor as a sign of gratitude for coming here. I can't get out of that… and neither can the three of you, as representatives of the Alliance."

Han returned to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed as he watched Leia, whose back was intentionally turned to him. She didn't bother to shut the door as she peeled off the long silk nightgown, momentarily in nothing but her underwear, as she neatly folded the material before slipping into a modest emerald gown, covered by a matching robe. Despite the fact that her delicate frame was hidden by the yards of fabric, she was still beautiful in an inaccessible, diplomatic kind of way, Han mused.

"Don't just sit there grinning like that; you're coming to the meeting, too, so put on something acceptable," she instructed, rushing out of the room.

"Where are you going?" he wondered, once again forcing himself out of bed to the wardrobe, where Leia had unpacked his things.

"To make sure Luke is awake! He's coming, too!" she called out, causing Han to chuckle at her sudden authoritarian demeanor.

She was back in a moment, pouting as she realized Han was already changed into his standard attire. "Well, that's hardly fair," she started, adeptly beginning to twist her hair into an elaborate array of braids without the use of a mirror. "I know I told you to get dressed, but I thought I would at least get some birthday entertainment."

"Well, Your Highness," he said as he walked deliberately toward her, as a predator approaching his prey, "that can be arranged. Although, we might be a little late for the meeting." With that, he was standing before her, his body less than an inch from hers; without asking permission, he placed his hands on her waist, moving bit by bit upward over her ribs. Leia was defenseless to stop him, as both her hands were currently occupied in a half-done braid; to let go would unravel what she had already done.

"Han, we shouldn't…" she began to protest, losing her ability to form coherent thoughts as he pressed himself close to her, slowly and purposely planting soft kisses along the side of her neck. Forgetting herself, she abandoned the hairstyle in progress and moved her hands to him, one to grasp a fistful of his light brown locks and the other to grip onto the fabric of his vest. "Mmm…" she moaned softly as his mouth explored the limited areas not enclosed by dark fabric, driving him crazy.

They somehow found their way to the bed, as Han lifted her carefully and laid her down, his lips never breaking contact with her skin. As he hovered over her, balancing himself on his elbows, his lips found hers and met him with a surprisingly equal fervor. As he wondered just where she had learned to kiss that way, he felt her hips shift enticingly as she moved to hook her leg over his. As he groaned involuntarily at the motion, he felt her smile at his response. Despite the clothing separating them, she could feel his reaction to what was going on between them, and the thought that he wanted her so desperately was exhilarating and reassuring.

Surprising even herself in a moment of boldness, Leia parted her lips, allowing her tongue to meet his, even further igniting the passionate moment. He ran his hands over her body again, and it was her turn to gasp with pleasure as he cupped her breast over the fabric of the gown, touching her in a way that no man had before. She instinctively leaned into him, arching her back at his caress.

"Leia," he whispered into her ear, his voice laced with the kind of desire that had never before been attached to the utterance of her name. She wondered how it was possible to feel both so powerful yet vulnerable at the same time.

Just as his hands began working at the buttons on the back of her gown, a loud knock at the door startled them both. "That must be our escort," she realized, sounding as disappointed as he felt at the interruption. Sighing, she planted a quick, though forceful, kiss on his lips before making her escape from under him. "Would you get that please, Han? I've got to do something with my hair. I was trying to earlier, but some Corellian scoundrel assaulted me."

"If I'm not mistaken, a certain Alderaanian princess was not entirely blameless in the encounter," he called back as he walked to the door, making her laugh playfully.

"I am here to accompany Princess Leia Organa and her consorts to the Combined Clans Center Building for her meeting with the Council this morning," the Bothan announced formally as Han opened the door. "I will wait at the concierge's desk until the Princess is ready."

"All right, then," he said to no one in particular as the creature disappeared in the elevator. He decided to pay Luke a visit, knowing that he might not be able to restrain himself right now if he saw Leia. "Hey, kid, how's it going?"

Luke seemed particularly cheerful as he replied, "Oh, just great. Why don't you come in?"

"What's got you in such a good mood?" he wondered.

The younger man shrugged, leaning against the wall with his arms folded in front of him. "I guess it's silly, but today's my birthday, so I guess it just puts me in good spirits."

"It's _your_ birthday? No kidding?" he questioned; when Luke nodded in confirmation, Han found himself smiling, too, as he realized there might actually be a way to get Leia to enjoy herself today, after all. "Well, what do you know? It's Leia's birthday too; what are the odds? Of course, she won't even come out to celebrate."

Luke looked bothered by the news. He knew that Leia's first birthday since Alderaan had been destroyed might cause her to dwell on painful memories of her father and the home that she had lost, and he couldn't bear to see her sobbing brokenheartedly once again. He voiced his concerns to Han, who agreed. "If she won't celebrate her own birthday, maybe she'll celebrate mine."

"That's what I was thinkin'," Han nodded, glad that Luke was on board.

A soft tap on the door caught their attention, and Han opened it to find Leia – hair up in a puzzlingly elaborate array of braids and looking perfectly polished except for a slight blush across her cheeks. Han grinned, knowing that he was the one who had caused it. "Guess what?"

"What?" she wondered, unable to decipher his lopsided smile.

"Looks like you're not the only one with a birthday today. Luke here is another year older, too," he announced, and Luke confirmed with a simple shrug.

Her face lit up as she hurried over to him, hugging him tightly and placing a friendly kiss on his cheek. "Happy birthday, Luke!" she said, and Han couldn't help but notice that she seemed far more excited for him than she had been for herself. "Forgive me for acting like such a tyrant earlier."

"I'll forgive you if you come out for drinks with Han, Chewie, and me tonight," he said so smoothly that Han was impressed.

She sighed deeply and shot Han a frustrated glance before finally giving in. "All right, you two win. I'll go out for _one_ drink after dinner… if you three are on your very best behavior. And I mostly mean _you_, Solo."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he insisted innocently, forcing Luke to choke back his laughter as not to irritate Leia. "I'm always on my best behavior."

She rolled her eyes as she passed him and headed toward the door. "Yes, but that isn't saying much when your best behavior is comparable to that of a gundark," she retorted, and Luke couldn't contain himself any longer.

Still chuckling, he placed a hand on Han's shoulder. "She's a real firecracker, Han. Good luck with that," he teased as he followed the princess out the door.

"You're not tellin' me anything I didn't know, kid," he said aloud to himself, shaking his head as he went after them.

…

They met Chewbacca and their Bothan escort in the hotel lobby, and twenty minutes later, they found themselves standing in front of the Combined Clans Center Building. The building was three stories tall and was designed in a similar fashion as most of the city – the claylike façade was ornamented in shades of blue, gold, and purple, and boasted a simple sign written in Botha that they could only assume stated its name.

The inside of the building was much more surprising. While it hadn't looked particularly spacious on the outside, they found themselves standing in a large atrium that comprised a large portion of the interior, decorated with various vines and trees and even a small stream running through the middle of the floor. An ornate stairway stood before them, and they followed the Bothan as he walked up.

"Wait here for a moment. I will announce your arrival to the Council," he said as they reached a large pair of golden doors.

"Well, ain't this a sight," Han whispered, placing a reassuring hand on the small of Leia's back. "Go get 'em, Sweetheart."

They heard the Bothan speak, and suddenly the doors were opened and they were being beckoned inside. Han stood on Leia's right, and Luke on her left, while Chewie stood behind them. "Greetings, Your Majesty," a grey-haired Bothan said as he stood, and the rest of the assembly rose as well. "We are honored by your presence, and we are grateful for the opportunity to discuss the possibility of Bothan participation in the Alliance to Restore the Republic."

"The Alliance thanks you for your consideration, Counselors," she said, bowing her head respectfully. She noticed out of the corner of her eye that the others were being ushered away to the back, but she refused to break eye contact with the Council Chief. "As has been evidenced in recent times, the Galactic Empire has become a force that _must_ be stopped. At the hands of Palpatine's oppression, no planet or species is safe. That is why we must ally together – to stop him once and for all, to restore peace and security to the galaxy."

"The Empire has never been a cause of trouble for Bothawui," the old Bothan spoke, and the others murmured in agreement. Leia knew that this type of thinking was in accordance with The Way, and she only hoped that she could use the mentality to their advantage.

"It is only a matter of time before that changes. The Empire is ruthless in its quest to attain total dominance, and Palpatine will stop at nothing."

The Chief Counselor stared quietly at her for a long moment, considering her words. "And yet the Empire will strike at any who dare resist it. You know this as well as anyone, Princess, after what happened to Alderaan."

Han saw Leia tense at the mention of her home planet, though he realized that the action was not as obvious to anyone who didn't know her well. He fought the urge to bound across the floor and give that old Bothan bastard a good punch across his furry jaw; Chewbacca must have sensed his rage as he placed a large paw on his friend's shoulder.

She took a deep breath, summoning every bit of willpower she had to keep her composure. "The Empire's ruthless and malicious destruction of Alderaan – a peaceful planet with no means to defend itself – should be proof enough of the evils of which the Empire is capable. Do not allow yourselves to be lulled into a sense of false security, Counselors. The Empire will attack when and where it sees fit, without provocation or regard to the people or planets it so callously annihilates."

The discussion raged late into the afternoon; Han stopped paying attention about two hours in, instead choosing to turn his interest to Leia – the way she carried herself so regally, her movements as she was passionately arguing her point, and those rare moments when she glanced back at him out of the corner of her eye.

He watched her in a strange combination of lust, awe, and fascination. The woman before him was a very different one from the Leia he knew; this woman was fearless and unwavering in her confidence of her words and herself. She showed no weaknesses and met each challenge with poise and grace.

_This must have been what she was like on Alderaan_, he thought, realizing that his relationship with _this_ Leia – the Princess and Senator – would never have come to be had things gone differently. If Alderaan still existed, they would have been no more than distant acquaintances at best; he would have gone on his way after helping to rescue her from the Death Star, possibly never to see her again, though he would have thought of her often. As much as he wished he could give Alderaan back to her, he couldn't bear the thought of a life of them being nothing more than a distant memory to one another.

Luke jabbed Han sharply with his elbow, drawing his attention to the now-standing crowd. He, Luke, and Chewbacca also got to their feet as the Chief Counselor began to speak their parting words.

"Princess Leia Organa, Representatives of the Alliance, thank you for your time. The Council will discuss the matter further and report back to the Alliance when a decision has been reached. We look forward to your presence this evening," he said, ending with a deep bow that the rest of the counselors mirrored.

The same Bothan from before came to usher them out, leading them back down the stairs and into the first floor atrium. "A taxi is waiting right outside to escort you to your desired location when you are ready," he said almost mechanically.

Just as they were trying to leave, Leia heard a familiar voice call out her name. She turned, somewhat surprised to find Ralk Dall'dren, Borsk Fey'lya's assistant, rushing toward them. She shot a quick glance at Han, who looked less than thrilled; however, he caught her gaze and was reminded of the conditions under which she would accompany them later that evening. "Hello, Ralk. How are you?" she said as politely as she could.

"You were just _splendid_, Your Highness, if I may say so. I do hope the Council chooses to side with the Alliance, for the benefit of Bothawui," he rambled on in blatant adoration while Han simply rolled his eyes. "I hope we will have the opportunity to speak further this evening."

"Perhaps. Thank you for your kind words. It was nice to see you again," Leia replied with a finality that even Ralk couldn't miss.

"Until then," he agreed with a smile that looked more like a snarl, before hurrying back to Borsk's side.

Doing his best to behave properly, Han waited until he was out of the young Bothan's earshot to start complaining. "I really, _really_ don't like that guy. I thought maybe he'd gotten the hint, but maybe the time for subtlety's over," he grumbled as they climbed into the taxi.

Leia instructed the driver to bring them to the hotel before responding. "Han, there's no need to be jealous. He's just infatuated by the royal title; it probably has very little to personally do with me at all," she insisted. After all, it wouldn't be the first time people had fawned over her or treated her differently because of her nobility. "Besides, we'll be gone from here soon enough, and you won't have to worry about him again; I'd like to make what's left of our time enjoyable."

"Leia's right. Ralk's nothing more than a nuisance, and you'll be rid of him soon," Luke chimed in, trying to keep the peace between them. _Especially today_, he thought to himself. Today was his and Leia's birthday, after all, and he wanted the day to be a good one.

"All right, I know when I'm beat. I don't wanna cause a fight," he backed down, and he watched as Leia smiled appreciatively in Luke's direction. He was a little envious of the way she and Luke never fought, of how they seemed to have a secret way of speaking and understanding one another. _But she's with you_, he reminded himself. _Let that be enough for yourself for once, you idiot_. And as she placed a sleepy head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his, he realized that it was.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" Han asked for what must have been the tenth time. He, Chewie, and Luke had decided to do some more exploring of the city, but Leia insisted on staying behind for a nap.

"I'm _sure_," she repeated, exhaustedly rummaging through her things for a nightgown. "You boys go out and enjoy yourselves. Have a little 'guy time' or whatever it is that you do when I'm not around. I'm going to get some rest before the party tonight; arguing for the Alliance all day took a larger toll on me than I'd expected."

Han grabbed one of his own shirts and handed it to her, and she took it gratefully. "All right, then. Get some rest so you can really have some fun with us tonight. If you need anything at all, just give me a call on the comlink, and I'll come right back."

She laughed as she worked on loosening the long braids adorning her head. "Stop worrying. I'm serious; I'll be fine for a few hours on my own. I managed for more than eighteen years without you, so I think I'll survive the afternoon." The truth was that their encounter earlier that morning made her realize just how much she had come to rely on him, how much of her she had given to him and was still willing to give. Yes, he was here today, but that wasn't a guarantee for tomorrow, and Leia resolved to regain some of her independence just in case.

He was a little disappointed at her insistence that she didn't need him, but he took it as a sign that she was finally starting to heal. "Okay, Sweetheart," he nodded, turning to leave.

"Han, wait," she said, stopping him in his tracks. She threw her arms around his neck and held onto him for a moment.

"What's that for?" he chuckled as she finally pulled away.

She shrugged. "I guess I just wanted to say thank you. You saved me in so many ways, and I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday than with you. After what happened… I didn't think I would ever be able to feel happy again, but I'm happy when I'm with you. You make me feel alive again, and I'll be forever grateful. And I know if my father were here, he would be grateful to you, too."

Han was surprised at how much it meant to hear her say that she believed her father would approve of him – of _them_, together. They were two very different people thrown together by fate, he knew, but a small part of him dared to believe that they might have found one another somehow even without this war. From the instant he had first laid eyes on her, he knew she was not someone he would easily forget; perhaps he would have made something of himself and returned to win her heart and her father's approval. _I would have come back to her anyway_, he realized; he was drawn to her like a satellite in her orbit, and he always had been.

"Are you all right?" she wondered when he didn't reply.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about how proud your father would be of you if he were here. As much as I hate to agree with that little pest Ralk, he was right about one thing – you _were_ amazing today." 

"Oh, Han," she sighed, burying her face in his chest. "I wish my father could have met you; I think you two would have really gotten along. I wish he could have been here today, to see how far we've come with the Rebellion. I wish… life would have let me have you both."

He kissed her soft hair, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "I wish that, too."

She finally let herself pull away from him, still clutching tightly to the shirt he had given her. "Luke and Chewbacca will be waiting for you. Go on."

"Yes, Your Highness," he bowed teasingly before finally departing from their suite. He was supposed to meet Chewbacca and Luke at the _Falcon_, but he decided to stop into a few shops on his own to look for a birthday gift for Luke. After all, the kid had become like a younger brother to him over these past months, and he intended to make sure his birthday was a great one.

A clothing store caught his attention, and he decided to give it a try. To his surprise, he found an elderly human man behind the counter. "Hey, there."

"Well, whadda know? Always nice to see another human face 'round here, and a Corellian, too?" he asked, motioning toward the Bloodstripes on Han's trousers.

"Yes, sir," he nodded, oddly glad that he had chosen this store. "I was hoping you could help me out with something. See, it's a friend's birthday, and I was thinkin' of gettin' him a flight jacket since he's been trainin' to be a pilot, see?"

"Ah, I do believe I have something for you," he nodded, hurrying over to a corner of the small store as Han followed closely behind. He held up a brown jacket – leather of some sort – for Han to see. "Now how about something like this? Genuine Sullust leather – a real find."

Han took the garment and examined it more closely. He had to admit that the quality was excellent, and if the price was right, he might be able to join the others at the _Falcon_ much sooner than he'd anticipated. "How much?"

"Normally, I would price this item at forty credits, but for you – thirty-five."

"Huh. Tell you what, if you make it thirty, you've got yourself a deal, pal," he negotiated, although he knew thirty-five credits was a bargain even if the shop owner refused to lower the price further.

The man rubbed his chin as he stared at Han for a moment. "You drive a hard bargain, young man, but for you, thirty it is! Tell me," he wondered, leaning in a little closer, "do you also have a lady friend – or two – that might be in need of a few items as well? We have some lovely things for just such a special someone."

"Just the jacket for now, thanks, but I'll keep that in mind," he nodded, realizing that he still needed to get Leia's gift as well, but he had no idea what she might want. "Thanks again," he waved as he exited the store, headed in the direction of the spaceport where the others were waiting.

Han decided to walk rather than take a taxi, mostly because he wanted time alone to think about Leia. In particular, he wondered about the type of present she would appreciate. He had dozens of ideas, but he couldn't be quite sure. Would she want something practical, like a new dress? She seemed to have a sufficient wardrobe, yet her snowsuit was standard on Hoth. Would something more extravagant be better, like jewelry? He was sure she _must_ have once had such luxuries, though he had never seen her with them. _Is it because she chooses not to or because she's lost everything? _he wondered, even more determined to find the perfect gift.

"There you are! We were beginning to think you'd decided not to come after all," Luke grinned, walking to meet Han as he arrived.

[Is the Princess all right?], Chewbacca wondered, troubled. He had noticed how run-down she looked lately, despite her seemingly higher spirits, and it worried him.

"Yeah, yeah. She's fine, just tired from the meeting with the Council," he assured them, though he had to admit to himself that he was a little concerned with her insistence of being alone. _Then again, she hasn't really had any time to herself in over a week; maybe it'll do her some good_, he told himself, feeling a bit better with the realization. "C'mon, let's get going. This city won't explore itself."

…

"… and it turns out, she was a Clawdite!" Han finished one of his many revelous tales quite some time after they had first set out, and the others burst into laughter. "Needless to say, I couldn't show my face in _that_bar again."

"Gee, Han, it seems like you and Chewie've had adventures all over the galaxy," Luke marveled once he finally managed to catch his breath. "I really envy that, you know. After being stuck on Tatooine for so long, I just wanna see everything and everywhere."

Han placed a hand on the young man's shoulder. "I get the feeling there'll be time for that. In the meantime, don't forget to stop and enjoy it all, especially when things are goin' good."

[When did you get so sentimental, Cub?] Chewbacca wondered, then chuckled quietly to himself. [Out of everyone you've ever come across, who would have thought that such a tiny princess would be the one to tame you?]

"Hey, come on. I'm a lotta things, but 'tame' ain't one of 'em, ya fuzzball," he insisted as they passed a jewelry store that caught Han's attention. "Don't even say it," he warned as he heard them snickering behind him. The trio headed into the shop in search of Han's birthday gift to Leia.

"I dunno. I don't think so," Luke shook his head at the necklace Han was pointing to. "It just doesn't seem like her. It's… too much. I think she'd probably go for something simpler, like that one," he said, pointing to a simple silver pendant that held a blue gem that almost seemed to glow.

"How much for this one?" Han asked the shop owner, who spat out a price of two hundred credits. That was more than he would make from the Alliance for this trip, but he wasn't going to be deterred just yet. "Two hundred? Look, pal, I may be human, but even _I_ know that it ain't worth more than… fifty." 

The Bothan looked insulted, but Han was glad to have gotten his attention. "I beg your pardon. This is a genuine Corusca gem from Yavin Prime."

Han could see that it was; he had smuggled a few in his younger days, and he knew very well that these gems were not only valuable – far more than a mere two hundred credits – but also quite rare. "Ah, c'mon. The thing's synthetic; just look at it. I've seen a _real_ Corusca gem, and this one doesn't compare. No wonder no one's bought it yet."

The creature mulled over Han's words for a long time. He looked to Luke and Chewbacca, neither of whom gave any indication that their friend was anything but honest in his appraisal. "No less than sixty-five credits," he insisted, eyes narrowing as he challenged Han's offer.

He sighed, feigning exasperation; in reality, he could hardly contain his excitement at such an unbelievable deal. "All right, but only if you throw in the chain, too."

As soon as they were out of earshot, Han finally let his excitement show. "I can't believe he fell for it. A Corusca gem for _sixty-five credits_! I could probably buy a new ship with what this thing's worth," he told his friends gleefully as they made their way back to the hotel. He had thought about saving their gifts for later that evening, but he decided that they should have the chance to wear them to the party if they wanted to.

"So, what'd you two get her?" Han wondered.

Chewbacca insisted that his gifts were to be a surprise, but Luke was more than happy to reveal his present. "A music box. She mentioned once that she had one as a kid, so when I came across one a while back, I thought she'd like it. I've been waiting for an excuse to give it to her; you know how she is about accepting gifts."

Han laughed, recalling that just this morning she had insisted that she didn't want anything. _Well, that's too bad. She deserves something nice once in a while, even if she's too stubborn to realize it_, he thought to himself.

[I wonder if the Princess managed to get some rest], Chewbacca remarked, causing Han to realize that Leia hadn't called him on the comlink, even though they had been gone for more than two hours.

"Hope so," he nodded, careful not to let on that her self-sufficiency made him a little sad. Of course, it wasn't that he didn't want her to finally start to mend, because he desperately did; the thought of her never having another sleepless night or being torn from her slumber from a nightmare that left her in tears was a wonderful notion. It was just that he had begun to like the feeling of being needed, of being her protector and "security blanket," as she had once called him. A part of him had expected to miss his freedom to come and go as he pleased, but he found himself enjoying her company far more that his solitude. Even now as he wandered the streets of the busy city with Luke and Chewbacca, free to do whatever he pleased in Leia's absence, he found himself eager to return to her.

"Hey, we should come by this place tonight," Luke suggested, pointing to a small pub. Although the outside didn't leave much to be desired with it's dingy, crumbling stone façade and half-lit sign, Han noted what had gotten the young man's attention.

"What do ya know? A Sabacc tournament!" he said happily. It had been quite some time since he'd played a real game – not just teaching Luke and Leia or a few rounds with the pilots on Echo Base – and he was tempted to see if the luck that had won him the _Millennium Falcon_ so many years ago was still with him. "All right, we'll give the place a shot."

"I've been practicing, you know," Luke remarked as they walked on. At Han's raised eyebrow, he insisted, "I'm getting pretty good. I can't quite explain it, but it's like I can tell what's going to happen even before the hand is dealt. I don't know what that means, but I win most hands."

Han chuckled. "If you're winning, it doesn't really matter what it means, does it?" He couldn't deny that Luke's instincts had been right on more than one occasion and decided that just maybe there was something to it after all.

They made small talk as they walked the rest of the way back to the hotel, and Han was all smiles as they boarded the turbolifts that took them quickly to Floor 872. "Why don't I go wake Leia up, and we'll meet the two of you in about an hour?" he suggested to Luke and Chewbacca, who had decided to see for himself what all the fuss regarding the hotel was about.

He opened the door quietly and found that the lights were off and the suite was silent. The bedroom door was slightly ajar, and he found her sleeping peacefully in their bed. However, he soon realized that she was not wearing his shirt, but instead clutching it to her _very_ naked body.

He knew that he should leave the room and respect her privacy, but her serenity and seemingly forbidden beauty entranced him. While his shirt frustratingly covered her most intimate parts, he still saw more of her soft ivory skin than he ever had before. Her ribs moved slowly up and down as she breathed, the hint of her right breast just visible beneath the edge of the fabric. He sighed, noticing how thin she had become and he made a mental note to make sure she was eating enough. His eyes traced her body downward, over the curve of her hips and across her thighs, all the way down to her tiny bare feet.

Han mustered all of his self-control as he pulled the blankets over her before climbing into bed and wrapping his arm around her. She immediately nestled up against him, sighing contentedly as she started to wake.

"Did you boys have a nice time?" she wondered sleepily as she turned her head to kiss his jaw line.

"Yeah, it was good. But if I woulda known you were gonna be under these sheets naked, I might've reconsidered," he said, giving her a squeeze.

"Oh," she whispered shyly, tugging the blankets more tightly around herself. "I guess I fell asleep before I got the chance to have a bath and get dressed. I must have been more exhausted than I realized."

He smiled, kissing her bare shoulder. "I'm just glad you got some rest… even though it looks like you don't need me anymore, Princess. Not too sure what I'm gonna do if you decide you'd rather sleep alone from now on, but I'm glad you're sleepin' well again."

"I missed you," she said simply, running her fingers through his hair. While she was glad to know that, should the situation arise, she could manage without him, she realized then that she didn't want to. She had become used to his crooked smile to greet her each morning and the warm comfort of his body next to hers when she woke. He forced her to face her demons, yet held her hand every step of the way. She shuddered to think of the state she might be in had Han Solo not come into her life when he did, and she was thankful she would never have to find out.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"I told you not to get me anything!" Leia scolded the others as they stood in the main room of Han and Leia's suite about an hour later. She had changed into yet another gown, though this one was sapphire and far more elaborate than the others.

"Aw, don't be a wet bantha, Sweetheart," Han retorted, managing to silence her. "Besides, it's Luke's birthday, too, and he's also got presents to open. Now put a smile on those pretty lips and try to have a little fun, all right?"

Leia pouted at his reprimand, but she knew he was right. Han understood, perhaps better than anyone else in her life, that the guilt she constantly felt for just being alive while so many of her people were gone weighed on her shoulders. However, she knew it wasn't fair to the others, or even to herself, to apologize for the fact that she was still here, able to celebrate another birthday. Even Leia herself couldn't manage to be sorry that she was there with them, three people who loved her and wanted her happiness.

"All right. But I get to give Luke his gift first," she said, managing to allow herself some excitement. After hurrying back into the bedroom, she returned with a small, flat box wrapped in bright blue paper.

"A datacard," she said after he had opened it. "I came across it quite some time ago when I was gathering my things after graduating University. I'm not sure where it came from, but it's filled with information about the Jedi Order spanning at least a thousand years back. I thought you might find it interesting."

An enthusiastic smile spread over the young man's face, causing him to look even more youthful than he usually did. "Leia, this is wonderful!" he exclaimed, hugging her tightly. He had so many questions that had been left unanswered after Obi-Wan's death, and perhaps now was his chance to finally understand. "Now for yours," he remembered, handing her a dark wooden box that she immediately recognized as Kriin-wood, which had once been found on Alderaan.

As she opened the box, she heard a soft, familiar melody of a song she had listened to hundreds of times as a young child. After a few minutes of listening to the music box and being lost in the bittersweet tune it played, she somehow found the willpower to close the lid and return to the present. "Thank you, Luke," she whispered, hoping she could manage to refrain from crying.

Chewbacca growled softly, placing a large furry paw on the young woman's shoulder. [Those who have gone on before us do not wish us to spend our lives mourning their passing. Take comfort in having once known them and, if you must think of their loss, let it be a reminder to live your life well while you have the opportunity to do so], he told her, with a wisdom that astounded her. The Wookiee then reached into his bag and pulled out two items, both wrapped in simple brown paper, and handed one to each of them.

Luke discovered an intricately carved X-wing model, and he was taken aback by the exquisite detail that must have gone into such a project. "Aw, Chewie, this is amazing," he remarked, quite impressed.

Leia found herself once again on the verge of tears as she unwrapped the perfectly carved globe of her home planet, each city and geographical structure labeled in perfect, tiny writing. Gingerly she ran her fingers over the small ridges that represented the mountain ranges and immediately found Aldera, the capital city where she had spent most of her life. For a moment, she allowed herself to think of all the places she had loved – the Royal Palace, where she had grown up; the University, where she had reveled in learning; and the ocean, where she had run through the waves uninhibited and free. She decided that she missed the ocean most, and she hoped that she would one day get another chance to feel sand beneath her feet and the coolness of the water as she dove into it.

"Leia?" Han whispered after she failed to speak for some time.

But she managed to smile, determined to let her memories be happy ones. "This is beautiful, Chewbacca. It's perfect, down to the last detail. It has managed to capture Alderaan better than any other globe I've seen."

They were quiet for a moment, allowing her to gather herself before Han offered his gifts. Luke was immediately delighted with his new jacket and put it on right away, glad to have something so nice to wear to the dinner. Leia, however, was not as instantly thrilled.

"Han, it's lovely, but… I can't accept this. It's too much," she whispered, running her fingertips over the beautiful blue jewel. "I can't go around wearing this when the Rebellion can hardly afford to keep our fighters fed and housed."

"Leia, just do me a favor, would ya? Wear it to the party tonight and if you decide that you still don't want it, I'll get rid of it, okay?" he bargained, frustrated with himself for not choosing a simpler gift that she would be more inclined to accept. "Please?"

It didn't take much convincing for her to allow him to place the necklace around her neck; honestly, she secretly didn't mind indulging herself for one night. She found the necklace to be one of the most stunning gifts she had ever received – including during her days on her home world. Instantly recognizing it as a Corusca gem, she only wondered how Han had managed to acquire such a valuable commodity but decided not to ask.

"It looks good on ya, Sweetheart," Han complimented as he stood back to appraise her. There was something about the way that she was carrying herself today that made her seem older and more regal than before, although Han wasn't sure if his observation was influenced by his memories of her speaking so boldly before the Council.

It had once embarrassed her to have him look at her this way, with such intensity and desire behind his gaze; now she found herself wishing that they were alone so they could continue what they had started earlier that morning, despite the nagging voice reminding her that she was becoming too attached to him. _I don't care_, she decided, surprising herself. _I don't care if my heart gets broken if it means I get to feel something other than heartbreak for a moment. _

…

"Presenting Her Royal Majesty, Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan," a Bothan herald announced as they arrived at the Combined Clans Center Building once more. However, this time the large atrium was lavishly decorated in banners of silver and scarlet, with dozens of tables off to one wall and a band playing an upbeat tune in the opposite corner. The myriad of guests included not only Bothans, but also a number of humans and a few Mon Calamari and Sullistans.

Almost immediately, Leia was dragged away by Ralk and a small band of Bothans. She turned back to glance at her friends, offering an apologetic shrug. However, it had been expected that she wouldn't be able to spend much time with them as there was still last-minute business to tend to, and she needed to do all she could to further persuade them.

"Well, I guess we could grab somethin' to eat. Or drink," Han grumbled, feeling sure that this part of the evening was going to be a bust. Luke and Chewie followed him to a Bothan waiter who was holding a tray of glasses of wine. "I was thinking," he started after he had taken a sip, "it might be nice to take Leia to the beach tomorrow. You know, as a surprise. We could all use a little time baking in the sun before we head back to that giant snowball."

"Sure you don't mind us tagging along?" Luke chuckled. It was hard not to notice the way those two had been looking at one another lately; though he was content not to know the sordid details, it was as plain as day that they were crazy about one another.

"Not a bit," he insisted, really meaning it. These past few days with just the four of them had been nice. It wasn't often in his life that he had the opportunity to enjoy a lazy, carefree day with his closest friends, and he was looking forward to it. When Chewbacca made a comment about getting sand in his fur, Han sarcastically retorted that it wouldn't be the worst thing that he'd gotten in there.

Han did his best to be sociable, making small talk with the random sentients who wandered his way. Many were curious about the _Millennium Falcon_ and its mysterious, rogue pilot, and he was glad to regale them with the tales of his adventures, translating Chewbacca's commentary when he decided it was appropriate. All the while, he watched Leia out of the corner of his eye. She had drawn her own crowd, and she chatted cordially with them, smiling and nodding in a way that must have made them feel as though their conversation was of the utmost importance. He wished her attention could be his, but he told himself there would be time for that later.

"Captain Solo, it is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance. I'm Callista Dorvin; call me Callie," a tall, attractive brunette introduced herself as she made her way in front of the small group around them. "And of course, Commander Skywalker and Chewbacca," she acknowledged the others with a smile.

"A fellow Corellian, huh?" he wondered, noting the yellow piping – a Corellian Bloodstripe, like his own – that ran down the sides of her trousers.

She nodded. "Born and raised. My father owned a shipyard, and I've been building and flying since I was old enough to see over the control panel."

Han couldn't help but notice the way her blue eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement. She seemed young, maybe a year or so older than Leia, but he could tell that she had already seen quite a bit in her life. She was attractive, Han noted with a little guilt, but in sort of wild, untamed way, very different from Leia's flawlessness.

"So, what brings you to Bothuwai?" Luke wondered, clearly infatuated with her.

"Oh, you know, just business," she said casually with a shrug. "And… well, I heard you were here, and I thought I might try my chance at getting a spot on Rogue Squadron. After what the Empire did to my family's business, I swore I would get even any way I could. If you're in need of a good pilot, I'm your girl."

Han grinned, glad for the opportunity to turn her attention to his young friend. "Well, you're in luck. Luke here has been placed in charge of the unit. He was the one who fired the shot that got the Death Star, you know."

Callie nodded, looking at Luke, who was fighting to keep his embarrassment in check. "So I've heard. _Very _impressive. Maybe we can discuss things after the party?" she asked, placing her hand not so subtly on his arm.

"We're all going out for drinks later to celebrate Luke's birthday. You're more than welcome to join us," Han invited her when the younger man failed to respond. She immediately agreed, and he gave her the name of the bar before she made her exit, revealing that she wasn't exactly an invited guest.

Luke shook his head, still not quite sure what had transpired. "That must be a glimpse into the world of Han Solo. I have to admit, I kind of enjoy it."

"If you play your cards right, you might just get lucky tonight, kid. Hell, I'll be surprised if she doesn't jump you as soon as we get to that bar," he teased under his breath, intentionally trying to make Luke nervous. "Happy birthday to _you_, huh?"

Chewbacca roared with laughter as the young man muttered something into his drink. [Don't listen to him. Some beings can think with their heads and not their hormones], the Wookiee quipped, knowing that the comment would irritate Han.

"I know you couldn't possibly mean _me_, you giant walking carpet," he retorted, borrowing one of Leia's insults. "I've been on my very best behavior for quite some time now, if I say so myself. Although, I can't make any promises if that pompous little hairball doesn't stop looking at Leia like that," he grumbled, his pleasant mood ruined by Ralk's presumptuous closeness to the princess.

[Don't do anything that would cause a scene], Chewbacca warned, well aware of his friend's temper and tendency to act without thinking things through. [Remember, she is still negotiating a partnership for the Alliance.]

"He's right, Han. The Alliance needs this, even if it means Dall'dren ogles Leia for a few hours. Before you get mad, you know Leia would say exactly the same thing. If it makes you feel better, we could move a little closer," Luke suggested, hoping to keep his friend from acting out.

"Not a bad idea," he nodded, already making his way toward the princess and her swarm of admirers. Their sudden movement caught the attention of many, including Ralk and Leia themselves. The Bothan curled his lip in frustration, but Leia smiled graciously, motioning with her hand for them to join her.

"Ah, hello again!" Borsk greeted them cheerfully, his breath smelling strongly of alcohol. "I do trust you're enjoying yourselves. Feel free to help yourselves to any of our fine food and drinks. Your lovely princess was just telling us that the four of you were quite enjoying your stay. Wonderful to hear!"

"These past few days've been pretty nice, I gotta admit," Han agreed, helping himself to another drink. "It'll be tough to leave."

Leaning in toward Han, Borsk offered quietly, "Should you decide to stay, we could certainly use a pilot of your experience. I'm sure we could, at the very least, match your pay from the Rebellion."

He chuckled, no longer surprised at the "self before others" kind of mentality that was so engrained into their culture, even in those few who seemed at times to be past it. "Thanks for the offer, but my loyalty's to the Rebellion."

Leia smiled; it was always a pleasant surprise to hear Han's confirmation of fidelity to their cause. In part, she knew she felt that way because it meant that he planned to stay for a while longer, that she wouldn't have to worry that he would fly off in the middle of the night, leaving her with nothing more than a bittersweet memory.

"Your Majesty," Borsk interjected, trying desperately to recapture her attention that was now solely on the Corellian pilot by her side. "Have you tried the salar?" he asked, offering her a piece of fish. When she declined, he summoned a waiter to them, adding, "We also have other selections that may be more suited to your tastes. Perhaps braised nerf meat?"

The memory of how tiny and fragile she had looked returned to Han's mind. Now that he thought about it, with the exception of their meal the previous evening, he couldn't recall a time that she had actually eaten more than a few bites. "You should eat something, Sweetheart. You haven't eaten anything today, and you're gonna make yourself sick," he whispered so the others couldn't hear him.

Leia fought the urge to cringe, as though she was a disobedient child who had just been found out. She knew that any attempt to explain that she just _wasn't_ hungry would fall on deaf ears; it was her own fault for falling asleep naked, with her now exceedingly lean body on full display. "Braised nerf meat would be lovely, thank you," she gave in with a sigh, appeasing them both and hoping she could palate the meal.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note:** I just wanted to let everyone know that after this chapter, the story will be **rated M**. For Lynn O.o, the birthday chapter is finally here! And to answer YmaSolo's question, although I don't know all that much about the EU aside from the bits and details I pull from various sources for the story, I've always thought of Leia's position as the leader of Alderaan despite the fact that the planet technically no longer exists. I've assumed there were at least some survivors and, therefore, Leia is still their leader. Although she has never officially been appointed Queen (at least in my version), I still see her as the highest ranking (and only) member of the royal family, so I feel like it would be appropriate for her to be called "Her Majesty." Hope that makes sense!

~Lucy

...

**Chapter** **13**

A few hours later, the party was finally beginning to wind down, much to Han's relief. Leia spent another twenty minutes saying her good-byes to various guests and hosts, thanking them for their hospitality and reminding them that she and the Alliance would be keeping in touch.

"If I had to spend another second with Ralk following me, I was going to go crazy," she laughed as they exited the building, in good spirits as they headed toward the pub. "But on the bright side, I think they're really going to consider joining us."

"You were great, Sweetheart," Han smiled, putting his arm over her shoulder as she put hers around his waist. "Hey, kid, I wonder if what's-her-name is still waiting around for us."

"Oh, there's a what's-her-name, is there?" Leia teased, glad that Luke was the one blushing for a change. "Well, tell me all about this woman. I can't believe I missed this."

Luke was quiet for a moment, feeling a little awkward at all the attention. "Her name's Callie Dorvin. She's Corellian… and a pilot. She wants to join Rogue Squadron," he shrugged, trying to play off their encounter as no big deal. He didn't want to make too much of the whole thing; after all, he had no idea if she would be waiting for them or if he would even see her again.

"A Corellian pilot, huh? I've heard some… interesting things about them. Is she pretty?" When Luke didn't answer, she repeated the question to Han. "Well?"

[Be careful], Chewbacca warned, knowing well that if human females were anything like Wookiee females, that was a question to be answered with caution.

Han, however, couldn't help but laugh at his friend's concern. While Leia had voiced her insecurity at the thought of Han with other women, he knew she wasn't the type to ask such a question unless she was genuinely interested. "Yeah, she was pretty. At least, that's what the look on Luke's face said he was thinkin'… among other things."

"Hey! I was not!" Luke insisted, though he had to admit, at least to himself, that he did find her extremely attractive.

"He was," Han said in a not-so-subtle whisper.

"And how do you know that?" Leia asked, trying to stick up for him. After all, she knew what it was like to be teased mercilessly in front of the others, and she felt a strange sense of needing to protect Luke from it.

"'Cause he was lookin' at her the way I look at you, Sweetheart," he grinned, warranting a shove from Leia in return. "A look like that can only mean one thing—that she's got a great… personality."

Even Luke had to laugh at the way Leia was glaring at Han after that remark. As much as he enjoyed Han and Leia's company, he had to admit that he was sometimes a bit envious of the relationship that they had begun to share. He hoped that Callie would be there waiting for them and that maybe, even if only for tonight, he could get a taste of what his friends had.

"Oh, a Sabacc tournament?" Leia remarked as the arrived at the dingy pub. "I'm assuming that your choice for the evening had a little something to do with that?"

His smirk gave him away. "Just a few rounds if the going's good, I promise. Did I ever tell you that I won the _Falcon _in a Sabacc tournament?"

"No, I don't believe you ever did. Always something new to learn about you, flyboy," she teased, sweeping her gaze around the room in an attempt to identify Luke's mysterious pilot. "Well, is she here?"

"Oh, yeah, there she is," Luke answered, a little more enthusiastically than he'd intended, as he noticed her sitting at the Sabacc table. She was an odd sight – a pretty human woman amidst the numerous Bothans and other, somewhat gruesome, array of alien creatures. "We should let her know we're here."

Han took it upon himself to get her attention. "Hey, Dorvin! Come and join us when you're done," he shouted across the pub, capturing not only her attention but also everyone else's. "So, where do you wanna sit?"

They chose a private booth away from the rest of the crowd, as had become their habit. A Bothan barmaid approached a moment later to take their order.

"Nothing for me, thank you," Leia attempted, but Han was having none of it.

"Oh, no, you don't. We'll have Alderaanian ale and pallie wine for the table. A drink for each of you from home on your birthday. I don't know how things were before you met me, but I think that birthdays are somethin' to celebrate, and celebrate is what we're gonna do," he insisted, and neither Luke nor Leia tried to argue.

"So we meet again," Callie smiled charmingly as she sat down next to Luke about ten minutes later. "I was starting to wonder if you guys would show up. Oh, sorry, I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Callie Dorvin," she said, extending her hand to Leia.

"Leia Organa," she replied, a little amused when the other woman's jaw dropped a little. "It's lovely to meet you."

"Wait a sec… _the_ Leia Organa? Of Alderaan?" she questioned. When Leia nodded, Callie chuckled in disbelief. "Well, it's an honor, Your Highness."

"Please, call me Leia," she smiled, finding herself already enjoying the company of another woman her own age. She hadn't realized how much she had missed the opportunity for simple girl talk, and she found herself hoping there might be a place for Callie Dorvin on Rogue Squadron so she could have the company even back on Hoth. "Luke tells me you're a pilot and you have some interest in the Alliance."

Callie nodded. "I'm a good pilot, I swear it. Given the chance, I know I could be a huge help to the Alliance."

"There are some hoops to jump through, especially to become a member of Rogue Squadron. You know, we have to be sure that the Empire isn't sending spies or saboteurs," Luke explained, quickly adding, "But I think there's a definite possibility. What do you guys think?"

Leia and Han agreed enthusiastically, though for very different reasons. While she hoped for the possibility of a new friend, he wanted to do everything he could to ensure that his friend had an _excellent_ birthday.

"So, how's the Sabacc?" Han wondered, handing a glass of ale to Leia, who responded by scrunching her nose at the thought. "No, none of that. It's Alderaanian, and honestly I don't know when you'll get another chance to drink it, so enjoy while you can. You, too, Luke. I swear, if you didn't tell these two to enjoy themselves, they wouldn't even think of it. And on their birthday, of all days."

"It's your birthday, too?" Callie wondered to Leia. "Well, then," she said, raising her glass of whiskey, "happy birthday to Leia and Luke." After they had all had a drink in their honor, she added, "The Sabacc's not worth your time. That big goon in green is cheating – I'm sure of it – but I just can't figure it out. Anyway, I think this table is a more worthwhile place to be."

Leia was beginning to understand just why Luke seemed so smitten with Callie Dorvin. Han had been right – she was quite pretty. But she was also intriguing, intelligent, and a little bit dangerous. _All the things I love about Han,_ she realized with a smile to herself as she drank some more ale. It took almost an entire glass, but she was actually starting to like the stuff. "How much longer will you be on Bothawui?"

"A few days?" Callie guessed. "I was sorta waiting to see if I could get some work, but if nothing comes up, I'll have to fly on."

"Where will you go?" Luke wondered, feeling a little braver after the alcohol.

She sighed. "Home to Corellia, I guess. I was trying to save up some money to help my dad get his business started up again, but with the Empire watching all flight routes so closely… it hasn't been easy. No one'll risk smuggling anymore."

For a moment, Leia couldn't help but wonder if that was the reason Han had stuck around for so long, though Luke seemed to think otherwise. They didn't pay him much, it was true, but it was more than nothing. _Stop it, Leia. Do you really think so little of him?_ she scolded herself, realizing that she owed him a little more credit than that. She found herself at the bottom of another glass of ale as she struggled once again with the thought of waking one morning to find him gone. _I guess I'm not as independent as I thought, after all._

"Leia, what's wrong?" Luke questioned, always able to read her.

"It's nothing. Just a long day," she smiled. She didn't like lying to him, but it wasn't exactly the kind of conversation that was befitting of their little party.

"Then that calls for another drink," Callie decided, signaling for the barmaid. "I'd like a bottle of champagne for the table, please. We've got two birthdays to celebrate." When Leia started to protest the expensive drink, Callie added, "My gift to the two of you, okay? Before that goon showed up, the Sabacc game was going pretty well."

When the champagne arrived moments later, Callie raised her glass and toasted the birthday duo once again; she wished them happiness and prosperity and a hundred more birthdays among those who loved them. Even Leia felt more cheerful after those kind words, and just a few sips of champagne had her feeling much better.

_I _am _a good enough reason to stay. I am a leader of the Rebellion; I'm intelligent and strong and worth staying for,_ she decided with a newfound confidence that only alcohol can give. _If Han Solo didn't want to stay, nothing or no one in the Galaxy could make him; he stays with me because he's happy to be with me. Because he loves me, like he told Chewbacca he did. _

"You okay in there?" Han laughed, waving his hand in front of her eyes as they stared into nothing. "Maybe it's time to cut off the drink supply for the night."

Defiantly, Leia downed the rest of her champagne and giggled. "It's my birthday, and I'll drink if I feel like it. And I'm _not_ drunk, by the way," she pouted, pouring herself another glass.

"It _is_ her birthday, Solo. If she wants to drink until she forgets she has a face, it's your job to let her and make sure she gets home safe at the end of the night. Let 'em celebrate like Corellians, I say," Callie defended her, earning Leia's friendship then and there.

"Thank you, Callie. I guess all Corellians aren't so stuffy, then," she teased Han, just to see if she could get a reaction out of him.

"_I'm_ stuffy? _Me_? Whose idea was it to go out for drinks in the first place, huh?" he grumbled.

"I think she's kidding," Luke added in a feigned whisper, while Leia and Callie giggled at Han's grumpiness; Chewbacca roared with laughter, always amused by the way Leia could get to Han like that.

Han pretended to make an angry face in Leia's direction, but he couldn't help smiling at her laughter. It was so good to see her happy, and he wouldn't have traded this moment for all the credits in the Galaxy.

Across the bar, a band had assembled, playing a cheery, upbeat tune. A few of the bar's patrons rose and began dancing. Suddenly, Leia had the urge to dance, too, for the first time since she was a child. "Let's dance, Han."

Han, however, didn't believe there was enough alcohol on this planet to convince him that getting on that dance floor was a good idea. "Sorry, Sweetheart. I ain't never been much of a dancer. I'd only step all over your feet."

Leia turned to Luke and even Chewbacca, only to be met with apologetic shrugs. Just when she was about to give up and dive into another glass of Alderaanian ale, Callie laughed and offered, "C'mon, Leia. I'll dance with you. We'll show these boys how it's done."

The pair took their place on the dance floor, unexpectedly fitting in just fine with the crowd of assorted beings around them. Perhaps it was the oddity of it all – the Alderaanian princess, dressed in her elaborate gown looking as regal as ever, and the Corellian pilot, with her clothes and hair tousled and unkempt – that seemed to make sense. Or perhaps it was because, despite how very different they were, they both seemed to know the steps to this dance.

Han couldn't help but stare at Leia, spellbound by the way she moved so gracefully, seemingly without effort. He watched her laughing as she spoke to Callie, wondering just what they were discussing but deciding that it didn't matter as long as it made Leia smile.

"With the two of them together, there could be trouble, you know," Luke said jokingly, reminding Han that there were other things going on around him besides Leia on the dance floor.

"I'm up for a little trouble if you are, kid," he answered, and the three of them couldn't help but laugh at the thought of another woman on Echo Base with even half of Leia's wit and spirit. "If she makes the cut for Rogue Squadron, she'll keep you fellas on your toes for sure."

A few moments later, the song ended, and Leia and Callie returned to their respective seats, both grinning ear to ear with faces slightly shiny from perspiration.

"I haven't danced like that in years," Callie remarked, finishing off the ale she'd left behind. "I'm glad to say I think I chose the best dance partner at the table. It's a wonder you boys can keep up with your princess here, you know."

As their laughter finally faded and the evening conversation began to slow, Leia found herself staring into Han's eyes. Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than for the two of them to be alone, to celebrate what was left of her birthday in the privacy of their suite. She placed a hand on his knee, and there was a look of surprise on his face. "I think I'm ready to go home," she simply requested, and he was happy to oblige.

"We're gonna stay here for one more round of drinks," Luke decided, and Han ordered them another round.

"I'll make sure he gets back in one piece," Callie promised, resting her hand on his forearm, causing him to blush.

Chewbacca took that as his clue to leave, saying that he had some work to do on the _Falcon_ before their nearing departure. He growled his farewell and wishing Luke and Leia "happy birthday" once more before leaving the pub, with Han and Leia not far behind.

"Did you have a good time?" he asked, putting his arm around her shoulder as she snuggled up to him.

"I did, but it's not over yet," she told him.

"It's not?"

She shook her head. "There's still…" she grabbed his wrist to check his watch for the time, "two hours left of my birthday, and I intend to celebrate every minute."


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** Sorry it's been so long since my last update! Real life seems to have a nasty habit of taking up my time. As always, thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, and please continue to leave feedback. Just another reminder that the story is now **rated M**. I've tried to mix in some actual storyline with the smut/fluff of this chapter, and I hope you enjoy!

~Lucy

**Chapter 14**

After a walk that felt like years – but in reality was only about fifteen minutes – they were finally back in the confines of their hotel suite. While Han made his way to the bedroom to search for their nightclothes, Leia lingered a distance behind him.

He felt her eyes on him and turned around, finding her standing in the doorway. Despite the darkness of the room, there was enough light to see an impish half-grin on her lips. She watched him with an intensity he had come to recognize. "Everything okay?"

She didn't answer; instead she walked slowly toward him, stopping only when her body was mere centimeters away from his own.

"Leia? What're you doing? Sweetheart, you're drunk. Let's get some sleep, huh?" he said softly, finding it difficult to think as he breathed her in.

"No, I'm not. I know what I'm doing, Han," she insisted, a fire in her eyes that he had never quite seen before. "Earlier when you asked what I wanted for my birthday, I said nothing. And the necklace is wonderful, but… I've come up with something since then."

He gulped. "Yeah, what's that?"

She smiled, running her fingers through his slightly tousled hair. "I want you."

Her brazen attitude surprised him, and he couldn't figure out what to make of it. Although she insisted that she wasn't drunk, he couldn't, in good conscience, carry on any further until he was sure. "Uh… name the capital city of Taanab," he requested awkwardly to test her mental clarity.

"Pandath," she immediately answered, a little confused. However, she shrugged off the odd request; she, too, had often had a completely random but nagging thought despite a more pressing situation that demanded her full attention.

"Okay, how 'bout the main export of Naboo?"

"Plasma. Han, why are you asking me all these silly questions? Now is hardly the time for geography and economics lessons," she frowned. Suddenly she was feeling hurt at the realization that he was rejecting her advances, and she pulled herself away from him. "If you don't want to… be with me, you only have to say so," she whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed, unable to meet his eyes as the embarrassment of her actions set in. Only this morning, he had seemed to want her as much as she wanted him. What had changed in the past few hours?

Han mentally kicked himself for ruining the moment now that he realized she was, indeed, completely coherent. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I just had to make sure it was you talking and not that birthday champagne," he apologized as he sat next to her, moving closer as she shifted away. "I just want everything to be so perfect for you, ya know? I mean, the thought that someone like me could even get a chance with someone like you – it's a lot to take in. "

"Someone like me," she echoed, scoffing. "After everything I've told you… after all the times you've seen me afraid or in tears or so angry I was screaming, how can you still see me as so above you, Han?"

"I'm a Corellian orphan. I never knew my parents, and I lied, stole, and cheated to survive. I got kicked outta the Imperial Navy – which I now see is a blessing – then I went back to lying, stealing, and cheating. Fighting for the Rebellion with you is the first honest, selfless thing I've done," he said, revealing more about his past than Leia ever expected he would.

Her heart began to ache for this man, and for the sad, lonely, despondent little boy he once had been. She thought of her own childhood, charmed as it was despite her royal obligations; she knew, however, that her fate had not always been so set in stone. "I was adopted," she confided, divulging information that none but her family's closest friends knew. Han looked up at her, surprised by the confession, and she continued. "Bail and Breha adopted me as an infant. I have some vague images and feelings of my birth mother, but… I don't know anything about her. I don't even know her name or where I was born. So maybe I'm a Corellian orphan, too."

He cupped her cheek, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb. Her openness and sincerity moved him in a way he hadn't expected; he knew this revelation was not something she had shared with many people – probably not even with Luke – and he knew it was her way of expressing her absolute trust in him.

Han wasn't quite sure what to say to her, but he didn't have time to think of anything before she leaned in and kissed him with such passion that made it hard to catch his breath. She once again began to run her fingers through his hair, and she pressed her body close to his. "You aren't going to stop me again, are you?" she whispered breathlessly in his ear, and he could only shake his head in response. "Good, because I would've sent you to sleep on the _Millennium Falcon_ otherwise."

He kissed her leisurely and deliberately, running his hands over her body without his previous hesitation. She moaned softly between their joined lips, and the sounds she made drove him crazy. His fingers worked at her hair, expertly untwisting the complicated braids as his tongue continued to battle with hers.

When she unexpectedly pulled away from him moments later, Han was overcome with a wave of disappointment. However, upon noting the mischievous grin on her face, he knew that she was up to something. "Stand up," she instructed, and he obeyed without delay. She slipped his vest over his shoulders and onto the floor, and then her small fingers began working at the buttons on his shirt. Then his belt.

Leia's courage wavered, however, as her hands rested on the button of his trousers. She took a deep breath. _Pull yourself together, Leia Organa_, she scolded herself, regaining her nerve as she finally managed to get him down to nothing but his boxers. "Well, well," she smirked, stepping back to appraise him, though she had seen him in this state of undress before. "Very nice, indeed, Captain Solo."

Han hadn't expected to feel so defenseless, but he couldn't help it. It had been his choice to give her the power, at least for now, but he somehow felt as though he was more nervous than she was. "Glad I meet your specifications, Your Highness," he teased, trying to steady his nerves with a little humor.

She turned to face away from him, gathering her hair to one side and out of the way to expose the many buttons on the back of her dress. "Would you mind?"

"Not at all," he obliged, working as quickly as he could to unfasten the garment. However, he found her bare neck irresistibly enticing and couldn't help but press his lips to her warm skin, leaving a trail of kisses that made her shiver.

Soon enough, he managed to free her of the confines of the dress. She carefully slipped her arms out of the sleeves and turned to face him once more, holding the cloth against her skin as she cast her gaze downward. After a moment of allowing herself to be self-conscious, she looked to his face and saw his familiar lopsided grin and his brown eyes staring into her own.

With a deep breath, she found the nerve to release her grip on the heavy fabric, and the dress fell to the floor around her, leaving her standing before him in nothing but a pair of scant underwear and the necklace he had given her. She fought the urge to cover herself while he stared slightly open-mouthed at her, neither speaking nor moving. "Well, say something before I lose what little courage I've managed to gather together," she said, sure that her heart would pound out of her chest at any second.

Her voice brought him back to reality, and he assured her, "You are beautiful, Leia. Perfect." After a moment more of admiring her from a distance, he gave in to the urge to run his hands over her soft, ivory skin, causing a cascade of goose bumps. "Cold?"

"No, I'm all right," she said, finding it very difficult to speak as his thumb ever so slightly brushed against her nipple. "I'm good."

Han sensed that she was beginning to shy, and he desperately wanted her to feel comfortable. "Hey, look at me, okay? We don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. I love you, and I just want you to be happy. All right?"

"You love me," she whispered with a smile. She had heard him tell Chewbacca that he did, but hearing it for herself directly from him was different. She couldn't say it back even though she felt it with every fiber of her being; she supposed she had some notion that if she said it out loud, the Universe would find some way to take him from her. Instead, she took him by the hand and pulled him toward the bed.

He gently laid her down upon the bed and knelt over her for a moment, looking down in awe as she looked back up at him with a shy but trusting smile. Her faith in him still surprised him, but it made him all the more determined to be the man those beautiful brown eyes saw.

Han ran his fingers along her jaw line, then down over her shoulders, arms, and ribs, all the while watching as she nervously drew in each breath. Finally his hands came to rest over her hips. He moved slowly, partly to give her a chance to change her mind and partly because he feared his hands might begin to shake if he changed pace. Being with Leia was an entirely new experience; she had been worth waiting for.

Leia's heart was racing as she stared up at Han, his warm hands running over her body. He was always so careful with her, she realized, as though he feared she might break; in his defense, he had been one of the few to see her in her most fragile state. Even as he slipped her underwear down over her hips and down her legs, he moved cautiously.

She lay below him, loving the way his rough hands felt against her smooth skin. Despite the obvious vulnerability in which her current situation left her, she was surprised to find that she felt safe in his arms. While her heart was pounding and she sometimes had to remind herself to breathe, she wanted nothing more than to share in this moment with him.

He kissed her lips, her neck, her shoulder. She felt him smile as she shivered, and she ran her hands along his muscular back, finding herself inadvertently clawing him as he took her right nipple into his mouth. She meant to tell him to keep doing whatever he was doing with his tongue, but somehow she seemed to forget how to form words and instead continued making the kind of noises that she would soon learn drove Han crazy with passion.

Han was determined to take things slow, yet he found it excruciating not being inside of her. He _ached_ for her, which was an entirely new experience for him. It wasn't even about sex, he realized; he just wanted to be as close to her as humanly possible. He wanted them to share a part of themselves with one another that no one or nothing could take away.

His mouth moved from her breast to her stomach and her hip, back up along her side and finally to her lips once again. Once hand remained tangled in her long brown hair; the other, however, wandered across her thigh and down between her legs to her warm, slick center.

She gasped, his touch electric as he did such _clever_ things with his hands. He slipped a finger inside of her, then two, moving slowly in and out; she felt herself already edging nearer to release although she fought to hold on. Instead, she turned her focus, albeit momentarily, to Han's faced only to discover that he was watching her, too.

A slight blush had settled over her cheeks, and her skin glistened with a thin layer of perspiration; Han loved that he was the only one to have ever seen her this way. "Let go, Sweetheart," he whispered, his lips brushing her ear ever so slightly. And with that, her eyes closed tightly and he felt her muscles contracting around his fingers and she cried out some unintelligible sound as she held onto him.

After a moment, he felt her breathing return to normal and her grip on him loosened slightly. "We should have started this months ago," she teased once she had recovered a bit.

"Guess we'll just have to start makin' up for lost time," he suggested, his fingers intertwining hers.

"Make love to me, Han," she said, wanting more than anything for them to give themselves fully and completely to one another.

Han, who had been hoping for this moment nearly as long as he had known her, did not need to be asked twice. He positioned himself over her, meeting her eyes before he carefully began to slip inside of her. However, when she winced slightly, he froze.

Leia's eyes flew open at his sudden lack of movement. "What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?" he asked, appalled at the thought of hurting her in any way.

"Never better. Han Solo, don't you dare stop," she demanded, shifting her hips up, pushing him completely into her. Again, they paused, but this time out of amazement of the way they suddenly felt like everything they had once been missing was now found.

"Leia," he whispered over and over again like a prayer or a promise. She loved the way her name sounded on his lips and she intended to tell him that before he began kissing her neck in a way that made her forget everything but the way he felt against her and inside of her.

She could feel herself on the brink once again as her body moved in time with his, matching him thrust for thrust. They moved in rhythm, each able to read the other like they had been together for years. As Leia stared into Han's eyes, she felt as though this was the very first time she really understood what soulmates were.

For the second time that evening, she felt the orgasm ripple through her body, as though every nerve in her body was firing simultaneously. A moment later, Han grunted softly as he met his own release, gently collapsing on top of her.

He was heavy on top of her, but the weight of his body was like an anchor keeping her safe and steady despite the raging sea of her life. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, too, but she didn't. Instead, she nestled her cheek into the crook of his neck as he rolled to the side, leaving her missing the contact.

"Happy birthday, Sweetheart," he whispered, kissing her damp forehead before laying his head on the pillow beside hers.

As Han pulled the covers up over them and wrapped his arm over Leia's bare stomach, she was at peace. She was lying next to a handsome, brave, wonderful man who loved her and made her want to be brave, too. She was the leader of a rebellion to fight all that was wrong in the Galaxy. Despite the best efforts of the Empire, she had seen another year go by; and despite their best efforts to destroy her, she was happy. It was true that tomorrow could bring the whole thing crashing down around her, but she would meet that as it came.

She stared down at the watch on Han's wrist and watched the last few seconds of her birthday tick away, smiling.


End file.
